Truth will set you free: I am coming back for you
by Aeiaeaei
Summary: What if Tris was still alive? What if she worked for that compound she was so eager to bring down? What if she didn't know who Tobias is because she got her memory erased? He remembers, though, and is still mourning her 10 years after her supposed death. PS: I know the idea of Tris working for the compound is just unpleasant, but things will eventually get better! Trust me!
1. Getting what I want

**Hello everyone! As you could read in my summary, in this fic we're going to explore the possibility that Tris is still alive after Allegiant. I know there are many fanfics about this, but as far as I'm aware, there is none representing Tris as a girl who had her memory erased and now works for that Genetics Bureau she initially wanted to bring down with her crew. She doesn't remember practically anything about Chicago, leave alone about Tobias. I know that the thought of Tris working for the compound is unpleasant but I promise you things will actually get better, just trust me, okay?  
So, let's get things started! Any comment or thought you may have about my story is more than welcomed and I'd actually love to have some feedback from you! If you have any doubt or suggestions for the plot, please PM me and I'll answer asap! And for those of you who decides not to read any longer after this chapter, I'd love if you could tell me why so that I can improve!  
** **I hope you enjoy! Please review!  
XX  
Ae.**

* * *

 **TRIS**

* * *

The time for the final choice had come.  
"Are you sure?" he asked me,smiling at me, almost triumphantly. I know you'll enjoy this, David, having me under you control and being able to do whatever you want with me. That's a nice revenge against the daughter of the woman you loved and that ended up betraying you. Almost too good to be true, isn't it?  
But that's exactly what I asked him, so there wasn't much I could actually complain about. I sighed, definitely resigned to a new future I'd actually chosen by myself.  
"I am, David. I am". Taking up the pen, I leaned down towards the table. This is not the moment for having second thoughts, Tris. You're selfless, act like it. Holding the pen so tightly my knuckles were almost white, I signed the contract. That was it. I had signed for having my memory about Chicago and almost anyone I met in the city wiped away. I stood up and left his office. No tears in front of him.  
I had signed to have Tobias erased from my memory. To live a life without knowing anything about him and without knowing to have ever met him. But I was doing it for him, for his good, I was acting out of generosity once again for him. It was time to give him the possibility of having an easy and smooth life, without any of those problems or anxieties I had been causing him since I entered in his life. I had betrayed him more than once, I had even allied with his violent father, I had disappointed him. I had plotted behind his shoulders, I had taken things away from him and broke his heart when he discovered I had been lying to him. I just couldn't stand to be the cause of his pain any longer. He needed a new start, afresh, without me acting like a burden on his shoulders. He deserved someone better than me, an happy life and he just couldn't have it with me. He needed to get rid of me, but since I perfectly knew he wouldn't have done by himself, I decided to do it myself. I owed him some peace and if he hadn't been smart enough to figure out that I was the only thing between him and his happiness, well, then I would have acted so that I could finally remove myself from that position.  
And there was only one way out of this: my death. If I died during the attack of the compound, he would sooner or later accept that I'm lost to him forever. That's the only thing that could allow Tobias to have a new start away from me and our past together. I knew that he just couldn't give up on me knowing that I was still alive which meant that I had to die. That's why I had gone to David: I needed an ally within the Bureau to help me fake my death and that ally needed to be in a position of power. David was the right choice, then. And in fact, he had immediately accepted my offer, which explains why I had just signed a contract with him giving my agreement to any condition there included.

Of course, I wouldn't really die during the attack. David had quite made a point about this and had actually put a clause in our contract that forced me to work for the Bureau. That was fine by me, because I was sure that once I'd wake up from the pretended coma, I wouldn't have any problem in supporting the Bureau policy: being almost re-born there and being told any terrible thing about GDs, I didn't see why I could end up actually supporting the compound. I wasn't that worried about faking my death either, because Peter had done in Erudite and the technology developed in the Bureau was definitely more powerful and effective than the one we had in the compound. David said that in their laboratories they had the perfect serum for that: it kicks in within two minutes from the injection and basically leaves the subject paralyzed and extremely cold. My breathing will be almost imperceptible. It seemed fine to me, so I agreed to it.  
The most important thing about the contract wasn't my death, though. I had specifically asked David to be injected with memory serum, of course a special one which would target only some of the memories I made in Chicago: as weak as it may look, I didn't want to live a life being aware of all I'd lost, knowing that Tobias was still alive and I just let him go away from me. I couldn't make it. I know, this is not that selfless either, but I was pretty sure that considering that Tobias could have a new start knowing I was dead, I needed a new start as well. We were square. One new start for the both of us.  
I had also made sure to choose a new name, Melanie. There was a precise reason behind this: actually, no matter how remote they could be, there were still small chances that one day I could have met Tobias and given that he would definitely call me either Tris or Beatrice, I would simply think he was wrong. End of the story.

* * *

Before signing the contract, David hadn't of course lost the chance to make me feel guilty and in pain by repeating the main clauses included in the contract. i was pretty sure I could see a spark of light in his eyes: he was definitely enjoying this.  
"So, first things first: you'll work in the compound until the end of your days as a policeman. This means you'll be in charge of patrolling the Fringe and go on rescue mission for saving GPs both within and outside Chicago's boundaries". He pauses. I know he is waiting for me to say that he's right, but my throat is so closed by all the tears I'm desperately trying to hold back that I can merely nod. A happy smile makes it way on his face. You bastard.  
"Okay, then: since you informed us about the imminent attack against this Bureau, we agreed with you that: a) will let your friends go back to Chicago, as a re-payment for your decision to stay with us for your entire life; b) we'll inject you with memory serum and help you fake your death; c)you'll receive a new name." At each letter, he moves one of his fingers and in the end there are three pointing directly at me. Once again, I cannot speak. So I just nod.  
I sign for a memory loss and my death.

 **SO GUYS WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS? LET ME KNOW!**


	2. Melanie

**Hy guys! So, here we go with the second chapter. The setting is still the end of Allegiant, so we will see how things went when Tris took her decision and what happened with David in that room.  
Please review!XX  
Ae.**

* * *

 **T R I S**

* * *

Deep breaths. In and out. In and out.

My steps echoed in the empty corridors on the compound and I couldn't but think about what I had just signed. Hopefully there was everything I needed to be there in the contract. What did I sign, though? I was pretty sure that I hadn't gone through any single clause even if many paragraphs and sentences started to come to our mind.

" _I, Beatrice Prior, allow this compound to drug me and inject me with memory serum once the attack to this compound, scheduled for tomorrow night, will be over. As a consequence of this, I will lose any memory I have about Dauntless initiation and anyone I met while in Dauntless. I will know that I come from Chicago, from the Abnegation faction and that I transferred to Dauntless. I will know that I am a Divergent, with an aptitude for three factions. I will know that I ranked first after initiation, but I will not know who my instructor was. I will not remember anyone from Chicago, apart from my parents. I will believe they died in an accident while giving out food to the Factionless"_.

I was sure, on the other hand, that there were many other clauses I had signed, giving my agreement to any of them. And I needed to remember them before losing my memory, once and for all. Within the suffocating rooms of the Genetics Compound, I didn't feel like myself, though, so I decided I would go for a walk outside, under the sunlight. I did need to remember any single clause. Or at least something more than what had come to her mind up to that moment.

The sun was high in the sky and the grass around the Compound looked greener than usual. I left my head to look at the fences I could barely see from there, once and for all accepting that I was going to lose it all. All.

" _I accept a new name which will replaced both my birth name, Beatrice Prior, and my Dauntless name, Tris. I accept Melanie Matthews as my new name."_

I had decided I would go by a new name so that if I met Tobias in the future, I would think he thought I was another person, because he would definitely call me Tris or Beatrice. And I will not recognize any of these names as mine. Nor I would recall that once I was Beatrice or Pris, and I would simply believe he was wrong.

" _I accept to work for the police of the USA government and support the experiment which is being carried out at the Genetics compound. I will rescue the Divergents and I will work at the fringe."_

New work, new life. That was what I was asking by this clause. To be given a new purpose in life, considering that I had lost my usual one, Tobias, to oblivion.

Oblivion. A strange word, isn'it? It reminded me of darkness and emptiness. Of loneliness and pain as well. I wanted to forget so much about my past that I had also signed a specific clause dealing with what I would be told in the future, was I given to remember any of it.

" _I allow the compound to lie to me about my past. I allow the compound to tell me the history we agreed upon, which is included in the first clause of this contract. I allow the compound not to answer my questions. I ask the compound, on the other hand, to tell me the truth, bit by bit and not all at once, in the case I asked them for the fourth time about anything I made them erase from my memory. This includes Tobias, any of my friends, the war in Chicago, my initiation in Dauntless, my family"._

Tears started to stream from my eyes. I was doing this for them, I did it for them. For him, to let him be happy. Despite the sharp pain I was feeling in that moment, I knew it was the right choice. And apart from that, there was no place for any second though, no way back or out of this. I kept on trying to convince me that it was the right thing to do, though. Again and again, replaying in my mind any clause I could remember or anything I knew I would have erased within a matter of hours. I was about to leave behind me anything that ever made me happy, blissfully, utterly happy so that my friends and my boyfriend could have a life without me, which, in my opinion, implied they would have an easy and happy life. So I can endure the pain I was feeling because I knew it would be worth it. I was acting out of generosity and generosity always has its reasons, good ones.

The sun was going down and I was starting to feel cold, so I decided to head back to the compound for my last night with the people I loved the most.

"Tris! Tris! Where have you been?"

His voice, steady and clear, came from one of the exit doors of the compound. He had been waiting for me for at least four hours, definitely worried that something bad had happened to me. I knew, even though he didn't, that also this thing, his worry and anxiety for me, would go away by the next night. That was a thought which could give me some relief. Not at first, but in the end he would be happy and go on with his life. I knew it.

"Just having a walk outside. I'm fine" and I kissed him in his lovely mouth. "Let's go back inside and have dinner". Hand in hand, we made our way to the dinner room to find that all the others had already started to eat. That was my last dinner with them.

* * *

"I love you, Caleb". Since those were my last words to him, I had decided to go for the truth: in spite of what he had done to me, he was still my brother. And I loved him, that is why I had him rescued from Evelyn's prison.

I heard gunshots coming from behind us and I knew it was time for me to go ahead with the plan, to fulfill what I had signed the day before. I started running and I could clearly hear some footsteps. They were trying to catch me. Couldn't David tell me that this is all pretended? I would have enjoyed some peace and calm before having anything taken away from me. He must have thought this was the closest to reality, to truth and he had decided that this was how things had to go. Which meant I had to run as fast as I could.

When I found him in the room, I looked at him in the eyes to make sure he would stick to his word. "So, David, this is how we are going to play this: you will let me push the button so that the mission in Chicago will be successful and all my friends safe. Then I will let you inject me with some anti-death serum of yours, just to make sure I will survive this. Then some death serum will be sprayed in the room and you will shot me. I thought maybe you could go for my abdomen: lots of blood, very dangerous. More realistic I'd say."

"Well, Beatrice, since you have already thought about everything, then we can proceed"

"No, hold on. Is everything ready for my death? I mean, do you have the liquid which will paralyze me and get my skin cold? Like, really cold."  
"We have everything, Beatrice. Any cable or liquid we may need to help you fake your death is in that silver box. I can assure you we have everything under control and that nothing bad will happen to you. For the sake of clarity, we have also that shot of memory serum you asked us. I was thinking we could inject you with that as soon as you wake up from your faked coma so that you won't realize what really happened and you won't panic. For your own sake"

"Well, okay. I don't really care about the when as far as I get that injection".

"Then, Mrs Prior, we can proceed". I pushed the button while he injected me with some anti death serum. And then he pushed his button. Death serum was springing from some holes in the ceiling. I breathed it in and immediately felt heavy and tired but I knew I would make it through.

David then shot me in the abdomen. And injected me with the paralysis liquid. The world started to go black. I closed my eyes. "I love you, Tobias".

* * *

When I open my eyes, I'm staring at a white ceiling. Where am I? A sharp pain in my neck. Where the hell am I? What was that pain?

I start to feel dizzy in my head, something is definitely wrong. Where is Tobias? Why is he not here by my side, holding my hand? Tobias, where are you? I need you to help me out of this. I made a mistake, a huge one. What have I done? What was I thinking? That I could go on with my life without Tobias because he would be better off without me? Really?

NO NO NO. I don't want this anymore, just stop it now. "David! David! I don't want this anymore, I want to break our contract. I want Tobias back. I was wrong, please let me go with them back to Chicago"

"It's too late, Tris. The memory serum will activate within 30 seconds. Tobias already said goodbye to you three hours ago, he is gone. He is back in Chicago".

Tears come to my eyes. Gone. Forever lost to me. Because I made this happen. I am the one who came up with that stupid plan. Why do I have to always to follow my Abnegation-like attitude? Why do I always care more about the others then me?

"Be brave, Tris. Three, two, one..."

* * *

I feel like a truck hit me. I feel pain in any single limb and this is why I don't want to open my eyes. But I have to. And I find a man, I'd say in his fifties, staring at me.

"Hello, Melanie".


	3. Life in the compound

**Hello everyone! This one gives us a first insight of Melanie's life as a compound member. We are just getting things started as you'll see while reading.  
Please review!  
XXX  
Ae.**

* * *

 **TRIS**

* * *

 **/10 YEARS AFTER/  
**

It is 7 in the morning and I am already well awake and ready to work. Not that it upsets me that much, I've been doing this for the last 10 years of my life, so it is just one morning like any other to me. I put all my long and blonde hair in a high ponytail, so they won't bother me while I will be patrolling the Fringe. That's my job for today and I have to say I quite enjoy it because I get to save any Divergent I come across with, all those genetic pure who are lost among many damaged ones, or, as I rather call them, worst human beings on the planet. I am a Divergent, a superior and pure being who was lucky enough to be rescued from Chicago after my parents' death. They died because of them, the genetic damaged I mean. One of them stabbed my parents while they were giving him some spare food they had and they died. Simple as that. And painful as that. This is why I decided to work for the compound, for those people who are trying to bring back humanity to its full potentiality: I support them, I believe in the same things they believe him and I am eager to tear to shreds any damaged being I find on my path. Which explains why I love to be at the Fringe.

I walk up to the big blackboard near the main exit door of the compound to check who I am going to patrol with. While I look for my name among the others, I hear a voice calling me "Melanie! You are with me today!". That's Michael, with a huge smile on his face. I have always suspected he has a thing for me but there is no room for any relationship in my life. Anything I have is entirely devoted to the cause of the Divergents, and I have no time and no will to find myself locked up with someone else. I am 26 now and I have never had anyone relevant other in my life, which makes me think it will be like this till the end of my days. It's fine by me, I knew that I wanted this when I joined the compound and there is nothing I regret about the decision I made 10 years ago.  
Chicago, my hometown, meant nothing to me after losing my parents. Even though I had chosen to join Dauntless, I definitely did care about them and the news of their death drove me crazy. This is when, according to Jean, David, his predecessor as head of the Genetics compound, came to me and asked me to go with him. There is nothing I am happier about than the decision I took on that cold afternoon. I have no regrets, no second thoughts about it and I have never had. It is in this Genetics compound that I became aware that I had been spending my entire life up to that moment among people who were not 100% straight. For they were damaged, as David explained to me. "You are the first Chicago inhabitant to show an aptitude for three factions. You are the special one, the precious and the perfect one. I know they made you believe you were a mistake, that they used the label 'Divergent' against you to point out you were a nature mistake. But it is not like that. It has never been like that".  
Divergent, oh God. I hated that word back in that time because it was something which always reminded me of my peculiarity, or, better said, my inferiority to the other and David had turned it into something noble. Something good. Something I could be proud of. Something which could actually save human lives. The news I was delivered by David changed my life completely and gave a reason, a purpose in life, a goal I could fight for and thanks to which I could now fill my days till my death. That's what I promised to myself when David asked to stay here and work for him: that I would succeed, no matter what, by saving any Divergent I would come across with and bringing down all the rest. Well, I guess that it's my personal history as a human being that, then, motivates me to hang on and keep going, despite the fact that I have always felt a big hole in the middle of my chest I've never managed to fill. Pros and cons of being different from most of the people you know.

While I get on the truck, I quickly look at Michael. Handsome, tall, with a big smile on his face all the time. What the hell is the wrong with you, Melanie, that you cannot really appreciate him? I've always known I'm a bit strange when it comes to boys, but I've always hoped that this would go away sooner or later. Do not misunderstand me, it is not as if I've spent 26 years in chastity or in total isolation, I've had my experiences but I have never been really satisfied. I really don't know according to which standards I felt so, since I have never had any of it before coming to the compound. Still, I have always had this funny feeling that I lost something of my past along the way. Which would also explain why I've always felt empty at the core. Never mind. Better empty than destroyed and dead, or at least, this is what I've always tried to convince myself of. Wiling to shake these sad thoughts from me, I start staring at the landscape I can see from where I stand and go through the notes I was given before leaving about the Divergent boy we are about to rescue from the Fringe. Deep blue eyes, redhead. Lovely smile. 9 years old. Born to two previous Chicago Factionless who then abandoned him when he was only one month old. His name was Angel. Pretty appropriate, I'd say.

"Get ready, we are almost there". I check on my weapons, just to make sure they are where they have to be. Then I kneel down behind Michael, waiting for the signal. Here we go. The driver throws his fist to the sky and we hit the ground. There is nobody around, still we try to be extra cautious when it comes to the Fringe. You never know how a genetic damaged person may react when a gun threatens their life, so I'd rather be safe than sorry. And so does Michael. We move as a single unit, this is our fifth mission together in the last month and thanks to God we know each other pretty well, which means I can predict what he is going to do and he can do the same with me. My eyes are his and his legs are mine as well. We move towards what looks like an abandoned house, but since anyone in the Fringe lives in places like this one, it doesn't mean it is actually abandoned. They rarely are.  
As if he could read in my mind, Michael moves his head towards him, so that I know to keep my eyes open and check on any single movement I can see. If he were someone else, I would pretty offended that he feels the need to warn me about a danger: what do you think? I can do it by myself! But I know he acts like this because he cares too much about me and he would feel terribly guilty if something bad happened to me and he hadn't warned me. So I just nod and trail behind him, my eyes on the door of the house we are about to break in. Jean and his team specifically told us that Angel could be in this house or in another one just behind it. That's why I think it is not probably an abandoned place.

And I'm right. A curtain (or what was a curtain) moves a little and a face pops up from behind it. Then I hear a gunshot and I know that there is someone who is keeping an eye on us. We have to move fast if we want to rescue the boy and get back to the compound without major injuries. I sprint towards the house and Michael follows me. I look at him in the eyes, once we reach the house and I understand what he wants to do. I stand up once again and toss my gun to the ground. "ANGEL! ANGEL! Come here and let us save you!". We know that the damaged will never let go of him, this is why I am yelling: to make myself noticeable, so that one of them will probably come out of the house to kill me and Michael can take him down, standing where he stands now that should be an easy shot. Probably he will aim for the leg: it disables the subject preventing him from walking. And then I can use this guy as my personal shield in the house. Not very nice, but really efficient. It always works and in fact it works this time as well.

Twenty minutes later, we are walking to our truck with Angel. He has been holding my hand since I found him in a corner, face towards the wall. On our way home, Angel sits on my lap and falls asleep. I'm glad he feels safe in my arms and that he has finally discovered the truth about his condition like I did ten years ago. I whisper in his left ear "Don't worry, Angel. You will never have to go back to those people, you will never be told that you are different and inferior to them. Truth will set you free. Just wait for Jean to tell you about it". Michael looks at me puzzled. Yeah, I know, I am not that kind of person who whispers in someone's ear to make them feel better. Not at all. I never say out loud what I think to anyone, so I guess this is what confuses Michael the most. We stare in each other's eyes for what feels like a century. His deep blue eye are piercing through me and I feel almost naked in front of him. He has a gaze which sees through anything and only stops when it gets at your soul. I now can fully appreciate the beauty of his face, the lovely line of his smile and the softness of his eyes. I understand what the other girls talk about when they describe Michael. He has never been more than a potential partner on the field to me, leave alone a friend of mine. Up to that moment.

* * *

I'm finally in my bedroom, eyes staring at the ceiling. It has been a very long and though day, mainly because I found myself thinking about Michael in a way that's totally new to me. It is like I want him to be more than my field partner, more than a co-worker. More than one of the guys in the compound and nothing more. How strange! I feel ashamed by these thoughts and so I decide to go to Angel and see if he is all right in his new house. Jean's secretary tells me he has been given a room at the end of my own corridor, number 26. I knock at his door.  
"Who's there?"  
"I'm Melanie, Angel."  
He opens the door to let me in and his smile widens when I give him a kiss on the top of this head. I know how it feels when you are labeled as different and left aside for that your entire life.  
"Hey, I just wanted to check on you and see if there is something I can do to make you feel more at ease or at home!". He frowns and then says "Would you play cards with me?". And that's what we do, until we are both too tired to go on. While playing with him, I learn a lot about his life in the Fringe, which, surprise surprise, was the same I had when I discovered I was divergent. This is what makes me feel angry when I think about the genetic damaged: they do not accept they are not perfect and blames those who are pure for that by leaving them side. How cruel. How selfish. Any time I am told similar histories like the one Angel has just told, I feel that inside me the need to help the compound. I want them all down. Damaged ones, I want you all dead.

* * *

This morning I woke up to another mission. I have to rescue a Divergent from Chicago, but I'll have to do it by myself because I am the only one in the compound who comes from Chicago. I can move in its street without getting lost and without needing a map. Jean shows me building on a screen: it looks almost rotten, even though, of course metal and concrete cannot get rotten. But I swear that I have never seen something like this ever before in my entire life. All the windows have been broken and there are huge sheets of glass both at the bottom of the building and on several balconies. Anything is black, door, ceiling, floor: it is like looking at the inside of a rotten banana. Water keeps on falling from the fourth floor and it is easy to see that before that spring of water came for the upper level, because now there is a green path of grass and small plants signaling where once the stream was. This makes the building even creepier than before.  
But I'm looking at it because it has something to do with my new mission, so I don't really care about its conditions. I only hope there is nobody living in it. I stare back to Jean who is now showing me that the girl I have to rescue lives behind that building. It will be easy to get to her because the rotten thing is so tall you cannot lose sight of it. That's very good, because I don't really like to go for missions within the boundaries of Chicago. I didn't really like it when I lived there, and came to loathe it when my parents were killed. Now, every time I approach the fence I feel the need to run away from that pain. On the positive side of the thing, I do not know anyone living in the city, so there is no risk of someone stopping on the road and recognizing me. Thanks to God, because I don't want to have anything to do with any of them. Not a single one.

Since the mission will be a night one, I decide to go back to my room and have a nap. The more relaxed and active I am, the better and easier this thing will be. As I walk, I feel some footsteps behind him, they are getting closer and closer. Then I turn.

That's Michael. I sigh in relief, I have never liked this long corridors without windows. I smile and he does the same. He is still walking because he is still a few feet away from me. When I think he will stop to have a talk with me, though, he does not. He crashes against me and I feel his lips on mine. His hand touches my waist and the other is on my neck. I cannot think, I cannot breathe and for once in my life I decide that I won't thoroughly analyze what is going on around me and just do what I fell like to do. I move my hands behind his neck and the other one relaxes on his chest. Right where his heart is. And then I kiss him back. When we pull apart, I just stare into his eyes and wait for him to speak.  
"I couldn't hide this anymore, Melanie. I feel something for you". I smile. Of course he does. I know he is waiting for my answer, but I am not that good at words. Furthermore, I am not that sure I can actually have feeling for someone and I am pretty sure I would tell him this if I opened my mouth. That's why I just kiss him one more time. I grab his hand and lead him to my room. All of sudden, I realized that sleep is not that necessary anymore.

* * *

My alarm goes off at 7 pm. I roll to the left and crashes against somebody's chest. Oh yeah. Michael's chest. I stand up, but I am not in a hurry. My truck is going to leave at 8 and I only need a short shower. It takes only 5 minutes and then I start to get dressed all in black; I like night mission because I can dress head-to-toe with my favorite color. Once I am ready, I wake Michael up and tell him to go back to his room because I am about to leave mine and he cannot really stay there while I am not.

Once he is out, I finish getting ready and leaves my room behind me, locking the door. Chicago, I am coming.


	4. Tobias

**Please review! Any suggestion, literally any suggestion or desire you may have, put them in your review! XX Ae.  
**

* * *

 **TOBIAS  
**

* * *

 **/10 YEARS AFTER/**

It's always the same shit every single morning. The alarm goes off at 6:30 am and in a matter of second the sudden realization that it's been 10 years since I last shared my bed with a human being strikes me. Every single morning. Have I already said that I am not a morning person?  
Kicking away the blankets, I get into the shower. The water streams down my body and I try not to think what day today is. I press my forehead to the wall. As if pushing my head against something hard would make any bad though go away. Surprisingly enough, it doesn't work and I'm left with a small bruise in the middle of my forehead. Who cares, it's not like I do care about my body since she died. I'll add this bruise to list of the things I could actually care about (at least a little) if she were still here. But she isn't, which makes this thought terribly and painfully useless.  
A second alarm goes off. I was forced to set it when I realized that otherwise I would spend my entire day thinking about the past. This also means it's already 7 am and I'm already late for work. Hopefully, Johanna will pretend not to notice it, I guess she knows I'm not thinking straight on this day. At the same time, I'm pretty sure that getting to work late when you are running for Maire doesn't make a good impression on anyone, me included, so I force myself to speed up a bit. I end up eating cookies in the tube, with a little toddler staring at me the whole time.

When I get to my office, I'm suddenly aware that anyone is staring at me. I guess they just want to check if I'm all right. Which, by the way, I'm not and have never been for the last ten years, but I guess I pretended well enough if they seem worried about my mental condition only today. I decided to stop by Johanna's office, just to ask a few things about the campaign and make sure she won't look at me like a poor and helpless puppy for the rest of the day. She knows I don't like being looked at like that, so I hope she'll behave and hide any feeling she might have. And I am not wrong. As soon as I get into her office, she yells at me for being late and says that I need to set a model for the others if I want to have a chance. I smile at her and just nod. She's right, after all. Come on Tobias, pull yourself together. And I head to my office.

* * *

It's now 7 pm. Despite the effort I've put since this morning not to think about what I have to do tonight, I've been fairly unproductive at work. I stared into the space for at least 4 hours, replaying in my head the events which lead her to her death. I should have been by her side, not just leaving her there with her little brother. I knew it, I felt it in my guts that she wouldn't let Caleb take her place in the death room but I didn't say anything hoping I was wrong or biased by my feelings for her. Except that I was right. That's the problem. I felt it but I didn't say a thing and now I have to live with the consequences of my decision. I run my hand through my hair and sigh.  
Ten minutes later, I'm walking on a pavement, near the Hancock Building with a bunch of flower in my left hand. I take a deep breath because I know that within ten minutes I'll be at the top of the building, scared to death. But I have to, anniversaries have to be celebrated, no matter how painful or frightening this can be. As I start walking up to the stairs- I'm not definitely going to have a ride on the elevator- I think about that baby Johanna told me was rescued from the Fringe by the compound this morning. Angel or something like that. Poor boy, he's going to spend his whole life locked up in that compound. Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do because according to the agreement, we stay out of the compound's way just like the compound stays out of ours. I have a feeling it is not really like that, on their behalf of course, because many Divergents living in Chicago have disappeared for the last ten years, which means that the compound is not really leaving us by ourselves. I've been trying to track whoever steals the Divergents down for the last two years, but up to now we basically know nothing about either how they get in or how they know that person they're rescuing is a Divergent. Leave alone who does this, you know, who actually gets into Chicago and steals them from us. There is no evidence or clue we can work on because they leave none behind them, nothing we can use to know more about it. The only exception is a small footage that shows a person in black- presumably a girl- that our security system does not recognize when you run the frame we got out of it in a program of facial recognition. The technician told us that even if we did have her in the system, the program would not recognize her because she is totally in the shadow. Any of us thought it was worth a shot, but we didn't really expect anything out it. We weren't disappointed. She was in the same place and almost at the same time a Divergent was rescued three months ago. The end.  
I'm out of breath, but I'm almost at the top of the building. Definitely not ready for mourning her once again. She died ten years ago saving all of us. Me. She died so that I could live, so that anyone in Chicago could live. Apart from her. Sometimes I have this feeling she never really planned to get out of it alive and that she took Caleb's place because she had planned to do so in advance. Unfortunately, these are questions that will never be answered. Holding the bunch of flower in front of me, I slowly rise my chin so that I stare at the moon in the sky. It's then when I feel a tear rolling down my cheek and falling down all the way to the pavement. I've never let anyone see me in pain after her death and I let myself express freely only when I'm sure I'm totally alone, like today. The choice of the building, of course, is not casual. It's the one that reminds me of her the most, thus the perfect one for her tenth anniversary of death. I kneel down and let myself sob for what feels like an eternity, replaying in my memory any moment I got to spend with her. Once I'm done, I raise again and leave the bunch of flowers on a corner of the roof, sure that nobody will ever come up here.  
I know Tris would love this place and I wished she were here with me to see the skyline of Chicago. Tris. My Tris. I couldn't protect you and you left me alone in this world. I daydream about our children and her smile in the morning, about our life together totally aware that there is no hope that any of this will become real because she's gone, lost to me forever. I can have her in my heart, though. This is why I have never let anyone else take her place in my life. I've been alone since she passed away and I don't want any of this to be different. Really.  
The point is, I decided long ago that I will remain alone to respect her memory. Or, even if I don't want to admit it to myself because it could be too painful, I still hope that one day she will just walk in from the main door.


	5. On a mission

**Can I get some follows for this story? Or any though at least about it? I'd love to know that you think about this and what'll happen between Tris/Melanie and Tobias!  
XX  
Ae.**

 **TRIS**

* * *

Things with Michael have been getting a little bit awkward lately. I mean, we are both adults, really full grown up people and here he is staring at me as if I were a beast for not giving seconds to him. I guess that the one night stand we had last week meant more to him than it actually meant to me. To me, it was like that, a one night stand, some fun together for just one single night in our lives, but he actually started stalking me since the following morning asking me to go on a date with him. At first, I thought he was just fooling me, but as days passed by, I realized he actually meant what he was saying: he desperately wanted to go on a date with me. How stupid are you? You know who I am, I mean anyone in the compound, literally anyone, Angel included, knows that I'm not into human relationship. I enjoy the time I spend by myself, that's really some quality time to me, and then sometimes, or almost never, to be real, I happen to enjoy having someone else around for very brief moments. That's it, that's how it is, it's not like I've tried to hide from him or anyone, it's there, crystal clear. Still, he won't just let go of me and it's already a week since that thing there happened. One entire week and he still acts like a puppy with hurt feelings. I tried do explain him that it's not him, but it's me and he cannot do anything to make me change my mind. I guess this is not enough to prevent him from trying, though, because he has been showing up every single day with a bunch of flower at my threshold asking for a second. Now, that's not going to happen and I hope he will understand it soon, because I can really stand any of this anymore.  
"How immature are you to just come over and expect me to devote my entire day to you because of one night, no matter how nice it was, together? Furthermore, you should be aware that's not really how I do things so what the hell is wrong with you Michael? Just leave me alone, you know, go to another girl or if you don't want to enjoy some company, then just stop trying to have my attention because I already asked Jean to change partner for the next month so just leave me alone, will you?" I yell at him in earnest. It's the eighth morning that I find him waiting outside my room and even though he hasn't a bunch of flower, he's asking for a second, once again. I stamp my foot on the floor and just leaves him there staring at me. I don't care if I've hurt his precious feelings, but I rather be clear once and for all, even though he may decide not to speak to me anymore. Which, by the way, would be perfectly fine to me.

As I get in the breakfast room, I take a quick glance at my left. There is a new girl, a blondie, sat by Jean. I guess she's the Divergent they've just rescued from the Fringe. Like all the others before her, she looks quite puzzled at Jean and then at any of us, as if she were trying to understand anything about both her whereabouts and her condition. 'You're safe, now. Do not worry, we won't let anyone touch you or underestimate you any longer' I think. Thanks to God, the compound exists and saves on a daily basis people from dangerous situations, giving them a shelter in which no genetic damage could ever hurt them again. Those beasts. Michael should look at them like that, not at me, oh boy. There he is, once again, making his way through the crowd and putting some food on his trail. I know he won't sit anywhere around after what I've just told him and that's enough to make me relax immediately. I stare at the landscape I can see through the glass of the window in front of me. I haven't been told about my mission for the day yet and I'm pretty sure that this means it's going to be a tough one. After 10 years in the compound, I've figured out all the patterns and I'm fully aware that not knowing before breakfast your faith means trouble. And trouble means Chicago 90% of the times. Since I was there only one week ago, I had been hoping that I could skip the Chicago missions for at least one or two months, but it's clear by now that must be wrong. I sigh: why always me? Why? I understand, really, I do, that for being the only one from the city, I'm also the one who knows it better so the perfect one to go for missions there. On the other hand, Jean knows I hate approaching the city, because every time I have to face waves of pain that start to hit me harder the closer I get to it. And I went through that pain only one week ago. I mean, is there really nobody available for this one today? I guess the answer is no because Jean stands up from the bench and nods at me. I have to follow him to his office. Holy crap.

* * *

"So, Melanie, you're on a new mission for the day. You remember the building I showed you last week, don't you? If I'm not wrong, you called it the rotten apple" he says chuckling. I nod, smiling a little. I really don't want to show all my disapproval for his choice straight away, I'm thinking of piling up some anger and then throws it at him suddenly. That could be fun.  
"Yes, I do. Why?"  
"Well, your mission is going to be nearby that same building, but luckily you have some fresh memories from your recent mission. I know you went there only last week, but we really need you to do this because there is nobody who has been in Chicago as recently as you have and this mission is a key one because it targets one of their leader".  
I sigh. "Yeah, whatever. I know you always pick me for the toughest one, I just hoped I could skip this one for the time being, but it looks like I have no other choice"  
"I'm truly sorry, Melanie but it has to be you. Now, let's get into the business" he walks towards one of the screens and shows me one of the person on it. Chicago leaders have no idea, but the compound has been spying on any and each of them since they became independent by getting access to their security system. I used to spend a lot of time watching them when I first got here, but I soon realized there was no point in spying on the lives of a bunch of people you don't even like, so I just stopped. "So, you know that Chicago is about to start the campaign for the new Maire. And there are two candidates: Tobias Eaton and a girl, Cara. We need to have some bugs place in their homes, for the time being, and then we'll try to bug their offices as well. The purpose of this is to know what they plan to do with Divergent people in town so that we can react and face any possible threat to them".  
I nod earnestly. These are issues of key importance because we can't allow genetic damaged people to bring down and hunt genetic pure in Chicago. This is the very reason why the compound still exists despite having lost its control on the city ten years ago. We cannot just let Divergents by themselves.  
"So, Eaton and Cara live in the same neighborhood. The one surrounding the rotten apple. We have studied their work schedule so that you can do the job easily and we think you should get into Chicago at 5 pm. I know it's dangerous because the sun is still burning in the sky and you are not hidden in the dark, but we cannot have a night mission because they both will be at home after 7. This gives you two full hours to carry out the job and make it back to the compound safe and sound. Any question so far?"  
I shake my head. Everything seems pretty straightforward to me. I get in. I bug their houses. I get out. Easy as that. Normal stuff I learnt during my first week of training in the compound.  
"Good. You'll have to put three bugs in each of the houses. By studying their houses, we think you should put the bugs in three different rooms, the bedroom, the living room and the bathroom. We decided to take a risk and not to bug the kitchen because both of them have an open space kitchen-living room so one bug should be enough." I love when Jean speaks to me like that. Clear. Precise. No unnecessary information, but at the same time enough. "So - he puts his finger on a point of the map- this is Eaton's house. Third floor. And this one - he moves his finger to the left- is Cara's. We suggest you bug Cara first, because her house is closer to the entry point and then Eaton. Since you don't have any questions, I'll leave you these papers. Meet me at the truck at 4.30 p.m."  
I smile, take the papers he's handing me and go back to my room. At least, I'm not mad at him anymore. I mean, even if I don't like it, I understand why it has to be me. Plus, I like my target, Eaton especially. In my first days here, he was the one I used to look at the most. It must have been something with his blue eyes. Or his sexy air. I don't know, I guess I just liked him, even if he was mourning someone. David told me he had just lost his girlfriend during the revolution which led to Chicago's indipendence because she sacrificed her life to save all the others. Tris, or Beatrice, I really don't remember. How stupid was she to leave him there alone mourning here? Last time I checked on him, two years ago, he was still by himself, all into his job and still crying for her. He must have loved her a lot. Poor boy. I'm sorry he is genetic damaged, because otherwise I could have liked him, but I just can accept him being so, which makes me sometimes feel bad, but still, it's necessary to keep your mind clear from any prejudice if you want to be successful in your job here at the compound. Never mind, it's not like I'll ever go back to Chicago.

* * *

It 4.30 pm and I'm all ready to leave for the city. Almost eager to get there, given the importance of my mission. It's strange sometimes how fast I change my mind, but I guess it all depends on the circumstance I find myself in. I always act for the greatest good, or at least Jean thinks so. The truck starts moving and I revise in my mind everything about the location of the houses and the bugs I have in my rucksack. Get in. Move to the left until a fountain and then right. Second floor, three bugs. Exit from the same entrance, go right, reach the rotten apple, third building in front of it. Third floor, three bugs. Get out, reach the coffee shop and then go left. Hide behind a bush. Wait.  
Pretty easy, isn't it? And that's exactly how it goes, for most of the time: Cara's house's bugging goes smooth and easy. I have a funny feeling while I walk towards Eaton's house, but I try to shake it off thinking it must depend on the fact he used to be my favourite. Never mind, he is one genetic damaged like any other, no pity, no kindness. Just do your job, Melanie and get back to the compound. It's 6.30. Better hurry.

* * *

 **TOBIAS**

* * *

Thanks God, this terrible day has come to an end and I get to be home even before than usual. It's 6.15 and I'm walking towards home. I guess I'll be there by 6.30, or at least I hope so.

 **SO GUYS WHAT DO YOU THINK? WILL THEY MEET OR NOT? WILL SHE RECOGNIZE HIM OR NOT? ANY THOUGHT? LET ME KNOW! XX  
Ae. **


	6. A very close call

**Any comment or suggestion, as I already said, are more than welcome. Please follow and review so that I know you like this story! Please!  
XX  
Ae.**

 **TRIS**

* * *

It's 6:35 pm and I'm in front of Eaton's building's main door. The problem is that I'm hidden behind a tree. I, Melanie Matthews, one of the most successful workers of the compound, am hidden behind a tree because I saw a guy. Not a guy, like anyone, but the target guy, Tobias Eaton, walking down the pavement while I was in front of the main door, which means that I could not get in his house now that he would be there as well. Holy crap, shouldn't he get at home not sooner than 7 p? Then, what the hell is he doing here? He must have finished earlier today at work. Today. Of 365 days in a year, he chooses this one to get home sooner than usual. How lucky am I? I must be a star-crossed person. Anyway, as soon as I saw him, I decided to hide and the only suitable thing was this tree I spotted in the middle of the garden in front of the building. It definitely was not the perfect shelter, but as I said, there was nothing around close enough to serve my purpose so I headed to the tree. Breathe, Melanie, breathe. He could see you only if he really gave a close look at your tree, but he doesn't seem that interest in his whereabouts because I've not seen him giving a look around since I first spotted him at the end of the street, so the chances to be caught are definitely small. Thanks to God. However, this will make my record of successful missions worsen but I rather have one unsuccessful mission than to be caught by a genetic damage and imprisoned by him.  
I hear his footsteps on the concrete because it seems that he purposely stamps his foot hard each step he takes. He must be of the nervous type. Whatever, I don't really care if there is something wrong with him which makes him walk like that or he is just his normal behavior. It's not like I have to get to know him: I'm on a mission and he's my target. The end. I don't need to know him better or understand what is going on in his mind when he stares so hard at his feet. I'll mind my own business, complete the mission and get back home. Which, by the way, it's likely not to happen today because he is going home and I definitely cannot break into his house with him being there as well. He looks very muscular and strong, I know that because I've been spying on him from behind this tree out of curiosity. I though he was worth a closer look because he looked gorgeous through a screen and I figured out he could not but look even more handsome in person. And I was not wrong. His eyes are like two little lakes, very blue, very deep, I would say very sad but I really don't know. First impression. His upper lip is so full it almost hides his bottom lip. His mouth must be very soft to kiss, but unfortunately I'll never get that close to him as to experience it by myself. He takes the key and opens the door. In a matter of second, he's swallowed up by the building. What am I going to do now? I take out my phone and dial Jean's personal number, hoping he'll give a clue on what to do next because I'm not that eager to fail a mission.  
"Jean, Melanie speaking. We have a problem here. The bird is in his nest"  
"I know, I've been checking on you since you got into the city. What do you want to do?"  
"Mmm" I want to have a straight record "I'd rather break in his house even though he is in it as well. Can we do it?"  
"Hold on a second, I'll have a look at the security system to see what he is doing right now". I wait. Since he is well inside the building, I decide I'll leave my shelter and just walk up to the main door. While I get there, I take a look of the neighborhood I'm in, because I never really had time to enjoy my trip in Chicago. Too little time and too many things to do. Well, apart from the garden I spotted in front of Eaton's building, there is nothing more. Lovely place to live, then.  
"Ok, Melanie. He's about to take a shower. He generally spends from 10 to 15 minutes in it, so you should have enough time. The problem is where to put the bug you were supposed to put in his bathroom. So, we think you could put it just behind a wardrobe he has by the bathroom's door. That should be close enough. Are you in?"  
"We have a deal, Jean. I'll let you know as soon as I get out". I hang up and take a deep breath. Okay, Eaton, let's see what I can do with you. I open the main door.

* * *

 **TOBIAS**

* * *

I toss my bag to the couch and finally experience the awesome feeling you have when you get home one hour before the usual time. This means that I can have some more time in the shower, more time to cook. More time to actually have some life apart from the campaign office I've been spending 14 hours per day for the last six months in. I start to get undressed, leaving all my clothes on the floor. When I turn around, I see behind me the path of jacket, jeans, shirt I've left behind me. Who cares, I live by myself, I'll tidy up when I get out. I let the hot water stream down my body and get lost in my thoughts. Strange enough, I start daydreaming about Tris and our life together. I love these moments because I actually get to be happy for more than 20 minutes in a row but at the same time, I hate them because I'm left with a terrible nostalgia that eats me up from the inside. I shake my head, as if that would make any memory simply go away and try to focus on some work issues, mainly the campaign and the upcoming public speech I'm supposed to give in a week time. I've not thought about the script or the location and I'm definitely running out of time. First thing tomorrow, I'll call Zeke and ask for some advice about the location: being an architect, I'm pretty sure he knows which place is the best one in the city. I sigh. Have you ever had this feeling that you hate what you're doing at the moment but you love the final purpose you're trying to achieve and that's what keeps you going? That's exactly what I've been experiencing for the last year. Never mind, everything will be over within two months and then I'll see what I can do with my life. I start to wash my hair and it's then when I hear a click coming from the living room. Oh God, a new message on my phone. I'll read it when I'm done with the shower, because I'm not going to hurry up for anyone today. I do deserve some break and time off from work. I'm human.  
The problem is that I hear another strange noise coming from my kitchen and that cannot be my phone. I hear the scratch of something against the wooden floor and I'm then fully aware that there is someone in my house. I'm not alone.

* * *

 **TRIS**

* * *

Holy holy crap. I've been louder than I've ever been in any mission. I'm actually really surprised that he hasn't got out of the shower yet so maybe I was quieter than I thought. Good. I head to the kitchen to put my last but one bug under one of the counter I can see from here. Nobody really checks under the counter so that has to be the perfect place to hide it. Okay, Melanie. Breathe and be as quiet as you can. It's then when my left shoe scratches on the floor. I hear the water stop in the shower. This is bad, really bad. I kneel down behind the counter, hoping he won't see me if he has a quick glance from the bathroom's door. I try to stay as calm as possible. "Panic doesn't help you fulfill your missions, Melanie. It only makes things worse" I hear David's voice in my mind. He's right. Deep breathe, silence. If I'm lucky enough he won't see me and I'll get back to the compound having a perfect record once again. Looking at my left, I see that a window reflects the living room and partially the bathroom in it and now I can spy on Eaton. Hopefully, this thing doesn't work the other way back, but I'd need to walk and stand in the middle of the room to check it, which means that the only thing I can do is hope. Nothing more.  
Then, I'm struck by an angelic vision. His hair is still wet and his body is covered in dots of water, like a Greek God. He has a towel around his waist. Unfortunately. He looks at his left and then at his right. Here we go, now we'll find out if he can spot me through the window reflection. He takes a closer look at something and then he smiles. "What are you smiling at?" I'd like to scream, but I can't. Then, surprisingly I see him getting back in the bathroom. I sigh in relief.

* * *

 **TOBIAS**

* * *

There's nothing that seems out of place to me. Then I see that my leather bag has fallen down from the couch, which could definitely explain the scratch I heard. I smile and get back into the shower. How silly of you to think that someone was in your house. You're not that important, Tobias. I go on cleaning and washing myself chuckling under my breath. Stupid stupid stupid.  
Then it struck me almost as a thunder. There was someone in my house, hidden behind the counters. I saw her through the window, but the image was so blurred that I didn't consciously perceived it until then. Thinking of Tris triggered the memory, because the intruder was a girl in black. I don't know why but I have this feeling she is the same girl who works for the compound. And then I hear a slam: someone has closed the door of my apartment.

* * *

 **TRIS**

* * *

Oh. My. God. What's wrong with me today? I slammed his door, now he'll know there was someone in the apartment. Very smart of you, Melanie, very smart indeed. You panicked and that's the result. I start to run as fast as I've ever run, trying to reach the bush, my rescue point. I hear him opening his door and hitting the stairs. Great, he's tracking to track me down now because I've not been careful and focused enough on my task. Well done, really.  
I get out of the door and throw away my black hoodie in a bin, so that he won't pay attention to me because now I'm in a bright red tank top. I sit on a bench along the way and grabs my phone from my rucksack. I'll pretend to be on the phone on someone and maybe he'll not pay attention to me as he passes by. That's all I can do. My rescue point is ten minute away and I've to be there within minutes. It's not like I can zigzag in the town until he loses my track. Then he gets out of the door and he heads towards me. Holy crap, he could have gone left but no, of course today nothing nice is going to happen. I stare at my lap while pretending to talk on the phone, so that my face is not on clear display and he won't have a clear look at it if he only passes by. And then he does. He just starts running without stopping at my bench. As soon as he passes by, I get up and walk in the opposite direction. As I turn the corner, I think that it was a close call, but I must have made it. Or at least I think so.


	7. Am I safe?

**So, she thinks she made it. Is this really so? Or will he recognize him? Please review and show some appreciation! Love you! XX  
Ae. **

* * *

**JEAN**

* * *

How stupid a call I made. Letting her go just because she knows the city better and she was there, in that very same neighborhood only one week ago. I'd told the boss of the experiment, a New Yorker, that his was a bad idea, because we could risk a meeting between the two of them- Melanie and Tobias- and some more questions on her behalf once she made it back to the compound. She had already asked twice about him in the past. The first time she asked David after seeing Tobias on the screen and David had told her an half-made up story about him being a single man in pain for his girlfriend's death during the revolution for Chicago's independence. She ate that up and just laughed about that stupid girl who sacrificed herself for the city, which was a little awkward considering she was that girl. The second time, she had come to me asking about him because she wanted to see if he was still mourning his girlfriend and asked a couple of innocent question about his age and his profession. Silly questions whose answer satisfied her without giving out too much.  
The problem is that we'll have to reveal her the truth after the fourth time she comes and asks something about her past, something we erased from her memory thanks to a special memory serum we created for her needs. This means that if she gets back and asks me something about Tobias, we have only another possibility to keep her in the dark (or in the light, as I personally see it) and not to tell her anything. I'm sure that once she'll know the truth, she'll hate us, the experiment, the genetic pure- exactly like she did when she first came her from Chicago with her friends- and will definitely go back to him. We can't lose her because she's our best worker and because she's up to now the only person from all the experiment showing such a high level of genetic purity and we cannot just let her back among genetic damage people who could hurt her if they came to know she's worked for us for at least 10 years. Furthermore, she has acquired a certain relevant knowledge about the experiment and the compound itself. If she changes her mind, she'll easily become a weapon against us.  
How. Stupid. Maybe we could just change that clause in the contract. In the end, she'll never know we manipulated both her and the contact she signed with us because she won't remember any of this. Yes, maybe this is the perfect solution.

* * *

 **TRIS**

* * *

I turn the corner and start to run. I can feel my breath in my ear and I'm pretty sure that if I keep this pace, I'll get at the bush by the coffee shop 10 minutes before the scheduled rescue time. The sooner the better. I slow down to a jogging pace so that I don't arise suspicion from those who may see me, because I learnt a long time ago that the more invisible you are, the more effective you will be. This is how I made it trough Dauntless initiation: I stayed by myself, most of the time. I definitely did not have any friend among the other initiates, which made me look weak and lonely. The perfect prey who ended up being the first ranked initiate. Now, look at me, you stupid. I smile triumphantly.  
I put on my earphones so I can really look like someone who is jogging around the city and I may look like any other inhabitants. I immediately feel relieved, because not only did I close the noise outside, but I feel like I closed the whole city out of my mind. I look at my watch: I have 15 minutes to make it to the bush and if I'm not wrong I'm 5 minutes walking away from it. I decide to slow down to a normal walk once I reach the next corner. I sprint and turn left at the traffic light. I made it.

* * *

 **TOBIAS**

* * *

Where the hell is she? It's like she disappeared in the air as soon as she left my apartment, but since I know that's impossible, there must be another explanation. I turned right, hoping that she headed in that direction, as well. As I sprint along the pavement, I don't really pay attention to what's on my path because the only human being I can see is a girl in a red tank top and the girl in my apartment was in total black. Furthermore, she's on her phone talking to someone. A typical Chicago inhabitant, nothing suspicious really. I keep on running and start casually turning left and right, maybe I've more chances to find her if I zigzag. Or maybe I just don't want to admit there's nothing I can do to find her. I give a look behind me, just to double check. I see the same girl that was on the bench now running with her headphones on, so, once again, nothing useful to find her. She turns the corner and comes to a full stop at the shadow of a high building, which really looks like a rotten fruit. I look in the other directions and keep on running. I decide I'll have just one round more around my building and then just get back home. If I were someone else, if I hadn't been through what I've been through, I would have asked the girl in the tank top to go for a run with me, or I could have joined her in her training, but after 10 years I really don't know how to approach girls. That was never my cup of tea, to be real, but I guess that lack of practice turned me into someone unable to hit on a girl. Never mind, I don't really plan to be on a relationship any sooner. Out of curiosity, I just turn around one more time to see the girl before she disappears into the streets of Chicago.

* * *

 **TRIS**

* * *

I come to a full stop once I reach the flower shop and sit on the steps just outside it. That's the last mission of mine in Chicago for at least one month, I swear. I'd rather spend my days having an eye on Chicago through the security screens in the control room than coming here any sooner. How could I be so stupid to just casually leaving his apartment without actually checking that the room was properly closed? Melanie, this was bad, really bad and you know it. This time you've been lucky enough to survive this and not to be touched by a GD, but next time you'll have to be extra careful. I breathe in some fresh air and try to slow down the rate of my heartbeat, as if I were in my fear simulation. The problem is, this is real and I cannot manipulate it which makes me panic even more. Easy on this, Melanie. I check my watch. 10 minutes left to rescue time, so now I have to run rather than easily walk there. Never mind, I can rest tonight in my room when I get home. My phone buzzes, signalling to me that Jean and the rescue team are already at the pickup point waiting for me which is awesome. I hate it when I have to wait for a long time hidden in the shadow before being rescued. I stand up, stretch my legs a bit and then start running. Then I hear someone shouting. "TRIS!"

* * *

 **TOBIAS**

* * *

The girl in the tank top is nowhere to be seen. Surprisingly, I feel a bit disappointed when I don't see her. Ah, Tobias, now you've started daydreaming also about any girl you meet in the road, how messed up are you? I sigh in pain. I'm messed up, I am, there is no point in denying this. My mind goes blank when the realization that I've never had really a life since she disappeared strikes me: it's been 10 years of work and then work and work again, every now and again some friends but that was it. No more than that. That's no surprise then if my mind goes wild every time it sees a girl: it must be feeling the pain of loneliness.  
It must be my mind puzzling me because all of a sudden I see the girl in the tank top once again. She's running, exactly like before, her hair moves with her movements, all perfectly put in a ponytail. I stare at her for a long moment and then I think I've seen some tattoos on her shoulders. That must be my mind fooling me because these two tattoos are exactly the same ones Tris had: one representing Abnegation and the other one Dauntless. Now that I take a closer look at her, she really resembles Tris.  
At first I don't want to believe my eyes, I mean, I've just been thinking about her so it must be my mind fooling me. It's impossible, come on, she died ten years ago, I touched her cold hands and gave a kiss on her cold lips. There was no blood in her and she wasn't breathing. She was dead. She was. So, how can it be that a girl with the very same tattoos and frame comes around at my place and looks like her? That's just impossible, come on, Tobias, pull yourself together and act like an adult. You cannot let your mind foolish you because you do daydream every single day about her. Which does not mean that that girl there is her. It doesn't mean that at all.  
I'm actually surprised when I feel my mouth opening and saying "TRIS".

 **SO. WHAT DO YOU THINK IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT? I CANNOT WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU!**


	8. That's for your own good

**JEAN**

* * *

The rescue truck is full of weapons, mainly not deadly one: we have many different guns whose bullets contain a paralyzing liquid and that will get activated once they hit the target's skin, some others that inject sleeping serum and then, of course, real guns. Furthermore, I've in my pocket an injection of what people in Chicago called the peace serum and this definitely for Melanie and Melanie only just in case she is way too nervous and excited about what she's just experienced. I though about bringing an injection of memory serum so that we could wipe away any recent memory, but unfortunately my technicians didn't have enough time to work on it and make it effective so I had to give up on that. Such a pity. Now I have to wait for her to come back and see the mental status she is in before acting. I wish I had that memory serum with me so that I could just give her an injection and avoid any question about Tobias. Because I'll know they'll come. I can only hope she'll ask all her questions at once, so that we'll waste only one of the two remaining chances to keep her with us. Since I have nothing to do, but wait- and I hate that- I just cross my arms in front of my chest and stare at the corner she should appear from. And then I see her.  
She is running so fast she is basically totally blurred and I see on her face a strange expression. Panic maybe. Or even fear. What the hell is going on? Why is she scared or panicked? Who did this to her? Last time I checked from the security room she was all alone at the bench, so what the hell happened in those 15 minutes it took me get here with the rescue team? And then I see something.

He is behind her.

 _He. Is. Behind. Her._

* * *

 **TRIS**

* * *

OH MY GOD. How messed up is this guy to call me with her dead girlfriend's name? This is sick and it makes me want to throw up where I stand. I mean, I'm sorry for what happened to you, like really really sorry, but I'm not who you think I am. Definitely not. I don't even turn around, I just shout "I'm sorry, man, but I'm Melanie" and I put my earphones back on. I try to act normally, like nothing really happened and this is fine, he is not trying to track you down, he is not a GD, you are not a GP and this is perfectly fine. I look at my watch: rescue time is approaching faster than expected, it's only 5 minutes away now and I'm more or less 2 minutes away from it. Great. How and when did it happen that I went from having a lot of time to get there to have basically nothing left?  
I try to run as I normally would do, calm and relaxed, so that maybe Eaton will just stop staring at me and just go away. I'm pretty sure he doesn't think I was the burglar who was bugging his house thirty minutes ago, but the same fact that he thinks I'm his girlfriend makes me think that maybe he is not going to turn around and walk away that easily. I knew it that I didn't have to accept this mission and just stay at home without any further problem. I knew it. And still, here I am in Chicago followed by a hot GD. As soon as I turn the corner, I stop once again just to check he is not behind me. I take a little step to my left so that now I'm clearly visible from the road I've just left and at the same time I can see it properly. I take a deep breath and then open my eyes: he is still there, but he's walking in the opposite direction. 'That was easy' I think. And then he turns around and he takes a close look at me. He stands still staring at me for 30 seconds and he looks almost in shock. He points at my chest and then he starts to run towards me. What has he seen on my body? What has he seen?

* * *

 **TOBIAS**

* * *

"I'm sorry, man, but I'm Melanie" and then she just puts her headphones on and runs away. I'm left there speechless. My mind is so messed up that has just led me to believe that - what's the name?- that Melanie was Tris just because she had the very same tattoos she had. I mean, that's very strange, but not so uncommon if one stops and thinks that the faction system was abolished only some ten years ago and many Dauntless transfers had their faction of origin tattooed on their body. Sure enough, I'm not that one. I'm some crazy guy who sees what's not there in the first place and that's it. I sight. Will this ever go away? Will I ever give up on this hope I have she'll come back to me sooner or later? Because this hope is tearing me to shreds and I don't think I can stand it. I really can't.  
I turn around and just starts to walk in the opposite direction. I try to resist the temptation I feel to have a quick look at the girl, just to see if she's still there and I try very hard to resist. But I'm human and I don't resist by default. I turn around. She's standing still at a crossroads some meters away. I take a closer look at her and then I see it. Three ravens. On her collarbone.  
Tobias, this cannot be real. Tris is gone, calm down and try to see what's there rather than what you wish were there. I shut my eyes and on the count of three I open them again. And the ravens are still there. I slowly move my hand and then I point at her collarbone. "Tris" I whisper. And then I start to run faster than I've ever run.

* * *

 **TRIS**

* * *

I'm panting, I can clearly hear my breath in my ears as I run towards the bush. When I turn the corner, I see the small truck and Jean gives me a little smile. There is nothing you should be happy about, you idiot! The problem is I'm already out of my breath and I cannot really manage to spell the words, which remain in my mind. "Tris! TRIS!" I can hear him from behind me, but I think he's not that close, otherwise the voice would be much more powerful. I try to sprint with the little energy I've left in my body and when I raise my head I see Jean holding a gun. A gun and I'm in its target. Then I hear the noise of the gun going off. I stop waiting for the impact. But the bullet does not hit me. It hits Eaton. And three seconds later he is on the ground, totally still, even though there is no blood on him. I look at Jean, wanting him to give me an immediate answer. I take his arm and just get into the truck. I made it. Now I can really say it.  
He smiles at me. "Don't worry Melanie, he'll be fine within ten minutes. He is just momentarily paralyzed and then the effect will just go off. That's for your own good, Melanie".  
At first, I smile, happy to have gotten rid of him. Free from a creepy GD. How lucky am I? Then my smile turns into a line. "That's for your own good". I've heard it from someone sometime before. "That's for your own good". Whose good, though? 


	9. Back home

**Please let me know what you think! Some follows or reviews would be really appreciated! XX  
Ae.  
**

* * *

 **TRIS**

* * *

While I drive off with the rescue team, I keep on staring at Eaton's face. He is there, still and paralyzed, but his eyes follow me till I disappear behind a building.  
"He'll be fine, won't he? He's a nice guy, Jean". His expression tenses.  
"Don't worry, I told you he'll be fine within 10 minutes. Do you doubt me now?" I don't why but his tone and his expression put me on alert. It seems like I'm staring into a snake's eyes just before being eaten up. Careful, Melanie, careful.  
"Why should I? You've never lied to me" I say smiling. His expression doesn't change, though. "Thank you for being there in advance, you know, otherwise I'll be still running away from him".  
"Melanie, he's not like us. There's no 'him' to use when you speak about Eaton. That's a GD and we are GP: if a GD knew you are a GP, well, it would hunt you down until you die. Never forget it".  
For the first time in 10 years, what he says sounds wrong to my ears. I mean, I know I'm a superior human being, because I'm a divergent and bla bla but this doesn't mean that GDs' lives are less valuable than mine. I remember calling them beasts only this morning, though, in the breakfast room, so I must be somehow convinced that he is right if I've supported his ideas until today, right? Melanie, he saved you. He rescued you from being killed by those like Eaton. You owe him your life and he does everything he does for your own good. _For your own good_. Where have I heard this expression? I slowly turn around so that my face is not anymore on display for Jean and I don't have to bother about showing my emotions on it. I frown and start to dig into my memories to try and find who or where I heard this expression for the very first time. I don't know why but I have this funny feeling that it has do with Eaton, but maybe I'm only biased by the recent meeting we had. Recent, yeah. The problem is that no matter how hard I dig into my memory, I don't remember anything about Eaton apart from spying on him from the compound's security room's screens. Nothing at all. I would love to ask Jean about Eaton and me, just to make sure that this idea I have about having met him while still in Chicago entirely depends on the fact that I've just run away from him while he was calling me like his dead girlfriend. That would make an impact on anyone's brain, wouldn't it? But I'm fully aware that Jean wouldn't like me to ask questions about any GD, and mainly about Eaton because I feel waves of hate leaving his body when I only mention his name.  
But I want answers and no matter how I'll get them.

* * *

 **TOBIAS**

* * *

That must be a nightmare. There is no other explanation. I lay on the ground totally paralyzed and she's going away on a truck. She's leaving me once again. I try to put some strength in my arm so that maybe I can grab her and keep her with me but nothing moves. Absolutely nothing. I feel a tear making its way on my cheek and then another streaming down from the very same one. This cannot be happening again, I refuse to believe that someone is taking her away from me once again.  
From where I lay, I can see Tris moving on the truck and just before it disappears behind a building, she turns towards me. And that's her, that's her. I'm not a mad man babbling about her dead girlfriend being alive, she is there, she is on that fucking truck and she's going away.  
How could I have passed by her while she was on that bench just outside the building? That must be because I'm not used to looking at a girl anymore, to paying attention to them. To me, in that moment, she was a girl like any other having a talk on her phone. Never, not even for one second, the thought that the girl could be either the girl who had broken into my house or Tris crossed my mind. But I can't really blame for this, can I? I mean, she was dead to me, lost, dust to the dust. Oh come on Tobias, you daydream of her every single day and then when she passes by you you don't recognize her. You stupid, you lost her once again.  
I have my eyes still on the truck, while it turns the corner. I think I see something on its side, like a part of a word: pound. What the hell pound is? Obviously, it is not related to England, so what is it? What is it? All of sudden, I feel my fist closing and my left leg kicking. I'm not paralyzed any more. Without having second thought about it, I jump to my feet and sprint, following the truck. I reach the corner and turn left, exactly like the truck did 30 seconds ago. That mustn't have been a very powerful serum, you stupid. Now I'm coming for you.  
I turn the corner and then I see it. One of the longest road in Chicago. Empty. Nobody and definitely no truck to be seen anywhere. Hod did they make it? It's not like they just can disappear into the air like this. This is not Wonderland, this is the real world, so where the hell is that truck? I keep on running till the end of the road but that truck has simply disappeared. With her on it, just in case I'm forgetting about this interesting detail. With her on it.  
I'll find you, Tris. I'll always find you. Then I take my phone and dial a number. "Eaton speaking. I need your help".

* * *

 **TRIS**

* * *

I want answers. I do want to know something more about my past because that memory, that feeling I have about that 'for your own good' being said to me before Jean did this evening has to come out of somewhere. I'm not crazy, so there must be something I don't remember and among that something there must be who told that sentence. There must be. That's the only explanation that makes sense to me. So what is this? I sit on my bed and try to do the very same thing a psychologist wanted me to do when I first got here. Close your eyes and lay down on your bed. Let your thoughts come to you freely, without guiding them or forcing them into remembering something. And I lay down there for almost an hour and nothing comes to my mind. I decide that this is not something I can do by myself, I definitely need someone by my side or someone who was here when I first got to the compound who can help remember what I've forgotten. By now, I'm pretty sure that there is something I've forgotten.  
I shut my eyes. Who can I go and have a talk with? Not to Jean, definitely. There is nobody apart from me coming from Chicago so this means I need to go and ask to someone who had an eye on Chicago to get my answers. I need to go and ask to someone who works in the control room. I stand up and almost jog to the control room. There is always someone working there, so I'm not afraid there will be none there. I take a deep breath and open the door.  
"Melanie. Glad to see you." That's John, actually my favorite among those who work there. He has a warm smile and he does worry about any of us when we get back from our rescue missions. I think he's the only one in the whole compound.  
"John. I have a question to ask you." He nods, which means I can carry on. "How long have you been working in the control room?"  
"Oh well. Chicago had still the faction system. I'd say 12 years, Melanie. Why?"  
I sigh in relief: he's the key to my memory. I rub my hands together. They are covered in cold sweat.  
"Can you keep a secret?" He looks at me with a strange expression on his face. He must be thinking that I'm a poor crazy girl, but he nods.  
"I need you to show me some tapes about my life in Chicago. I need to know about my relationship with Tobias Eaton because I do feel I had one while in Chicago and I forgot about it".  
He stares at me, his smile being a tense smile. "That's fine Melanie. I can do that for you, but we'll have to tell Jean about this."  
"Later, John. I promise I'll go to his office and tell him about all of this. It's just that I want to do this by myself"  
"What do you want to do by yourself, Melanie?".

Jean is here.


	10. Into focus

**A/N  
So guys: I've hardly received any feedback apart from one person who's been reviewing every single chapter of mine (thank you so much!). I'd love to know at least what you think about, even if you despise my work that's will be definitely fine for me. But I really need to know what you think about all of this and if you have any idea/ suggestion about where this plot could go.  
PLEASE REVIEW AND FOLLOW! I'm almost begging you!  
XX  
Ae.**

* * *

 **TRIS**

* * *

Do not panic, Melanie. Do not dare to panic in front of him because panic means being guilty and we don't really want Jean to be suspicious, do we? Easy on that. I have more or less 5 seconds to come up with an excuse that won't upset Jean and let me be free to investigate on my past without him minding my own business. I'm there racking my brain when I hear John's voice.  
"Jean, don't worry. She's just asked me if I want to swap with her and when I said no, she said that for the first time in 10 years she wanted to be in charge of the security system all by herself. I was just about to reply her that that's fine by me, but maybe she could use my help for tonight, since she's just come back from a tough mission in Chicago."  
I nod convincingly. That's a good lie, John. Really a good one. I stare at Jean smiling.  
"Yes, Jean, I mean, I've been here for 10 years now so I thought I could be of help letting him rest and swapping with him".  
Jean's eyes are as cold as ice. A snake. Then all of a sudden, he nods.  
"He's right, Melanie. That's very nice of you but you'd better use his help for tonight: you must be very tired after all you've been through today. Dead tired" and then he leaves.  
I sigh in relief and hug John. I whisper in his ear "John, thank you so much. You saved. You really did". He hugs me back. I've always known I am his favorite co-worker at the Bureau, still what he says surprises me. "I had to, Melanie. He's always so worried about you asking about your past that telling him that's what you'd just asked me would put you in danger. He's not that nice as you think he is. Not at all, Melanie".  
My eyes are wide open and I cannot believe my ears. I feel I'm on the brink of tears. "John, what do you mean by that?"

* * *

 **TOBIAS**

* * *

"Four? What's wrong? You sound really weird". Yeah, you're right Johanna.  
"Are you still at your office?"  
"Well, yes I am. Four, would you mind telling me what's going on? You're making me nervous".  
"Can I come over and have a look at the security system?"  
"Four, what's going on?". I sigh and roll my eyes. What the hell am I supposed to tell her? That I think I saw Tris and the truck she was in just disappeared into the air? I mean, that's the truth, hard facts, but I know she won't let me have a look at those tapes if I answer like this straight away.  
"Johanna, I promise I'll tell you everything". I hear her sighing. Then there's only silence and the sounds of the two of us breathing. Great, I'm making her suspicious about my intentions.  
"Okay Four. But this must better be a very good and convincing story. I'll wait for you at the control room. Be there in 10" and then she hangs up.  
I throw my fist into the sky. Yes. I made it. I have no time for tasting the flavor of success because I'm already in a hurry. Get those feet moving, Tobias. And then I run.  
When I meet Johanna outside the control room, I'm covered in sweat. On my way here, I've thought about what I'm about to see and realized that I've mainly two possibilities. One: the girl I saw is Tris. If it is so, I'll try and have her back no matter what. Two: that girl is not Tris. I promised to myself that then I'll let her go forever and try to start afresh. That's a terrible and frightening thought but I think it's what I need to do: accept she's lost to me forever.  
"Four. First the story. Then I'll decide whether to let you in. Better sound convincing." I take a deep breath and spill out all the truth. It takes me about 5 minutes to update her on what's happened to me this very evening and I see her face changing expression several times. When I'm done, silence between us hangs in the air for what seems an eternity. Please, Johanna, please believe me. Since she doesn't look like someone who is eager to let me in, I try and say one last thing. "Johanna, if that's not her, I promise I'll stop mourning her and go on with my life. Afresh. But right now, I need to know, otherwise this thought about that girl being Tris will haunt me until the end of my days and I'll never be free from my past. Johanna, I swear that I'm not making this story up. I know what I saw, but I need some evidence supporting my memory." I'm almost begging her. She stares into my eyes as if she could see the truth from them.  
"If it's not like you think, you promise me that this is the last time I heard from you something about Tris. You promise me." I nod earnestly. "I do, Johanna, I do."  
She holds my hand and walks me into the control room. "So, Four, what city's section do we have to have a look at?".

* * *

 **TRIS**

* * *

"Melanie, I can't tell you anything about this. I wish I could, but this would break the rules and I may be made redundant. I'm sorry"  
"Oh. Okay" What the hell is Jean hiding, though? It must be something very important if he would fire John. "Okay, John. But you're still going to give me some answers, aren't you?" He nods and smiles at me.  
"Of course, Melanie. I promised you". The problem is that right now I don't know where to start from, I have too many questions and I'd love to ask them all at once. What do you want to know first? And the answer to this question comes to me almost naturally. I want to know about Tobias Eaton.  
"Tell me something about Tobias Eaton. Something I don't know yet". I see John's smile becoming almost a line and his expression stiffening. "What do you want me to tell you, Melanie?".  
"Anything, John. Literally anything."

His mouth starts moving and I try to stay as focused as I can. "Well, Melanie. He is a GD, son to a previous Abnegation family, he transferred to Dauntless and became one of the most respected members within the new faction" Then, why do I have no memory of him during my time in Dauntless? "He managed to bring peace back to Chicago after the revolution and now he's running for Maire of the city. No girlfriend, just a bunch of friends he rarely sees because he spends most of this time working". He pauses for a second and it's then when I jump in.  
"John, if he was that important in Dauntless as you say he was why don't I remember anything about him?". I feel my eyes filling with tears. What the hell happened to me? Something really bad if I'm here getting slowly aware that I have gaps in my memory I've never noticed before. I don't remember anything about one of the most relevant members of my transfer faction. Nothing at all.  
"John, what happened to me?"

* * *

 **TOBIAS**

* * *

"My neighborhood around 6.30" I say, trying to keep my voice steady.  
She pushes a few buttons and images of this evening fill the screens in front of my eyes. Thanks to God, there are many cameras in that area, which means that I can see the very same moment from different angles and perspective.  
"Okay, Four. Here we go." Each screen reproduces the images according to different cameras and I see myself walking down the road on my way home. I'm staring at the pavement and that's why I don't notice a figure in black running towards a tree and hiding behind it. How did I manage not to notice there was someone behind a tree? It's not that good shelter either. You idiot.  
"Johanna, can you zoom in on her face?" She tries, but being in the shadow like she is, the final result is a blurred image of what could be a human face. Not useful at all.  
"Okay, let's forward to 6.40". And here we go.  
I cannot believe what I see in front of my eyes. The girl gets out of my building and throws her hoodie into a bin, revealing a red tank top under it. The girl in the tank top is the same girl who broke into my house. And I passed by her without noticing. I run my hand through my hair and Johanna looks at me worried. I keep on staring at the screen. There must be a frame, even a one-second one with her face on it. There must be, I just have to keep on watching. I'm biting my lips and I start to feel in my mouth the terrible taste of blood. Who cares. I rub my hands together and keep on biting my lip. I think they'll be all swollen in the end but I don't really care about it as far as it relaxes me. Tris stands up from the bench as soon as I pass by her and starts running in the opposite direction. Johanna pushes a few buttons when she sees that Tris turns the corner so that we can keep having an eye on her. I'm still waiting for that frame of her face. Come on! There must be one, I refuse to believe that I cannot prove what I've just seen. Tris is now coming to a full stop near a flower shop. It looks like she's trying to recover from the sprint, and I can understand that because I've never seen her running faster.  
As soon as she stands up, I clearly hear my voice, shouting her name and what surprises me the most is her strange reaction. She shakes her head and then covers her mouth with both her hands, as if she were in shock. Does this mean that I triggered something in her memory by shouting her name? I do hope so, but I try not to leave my fantasy go wild. After a few seconds, I hear her voice telling me that she's Melanie. It's then when Johanna gasps and I look at her nervously.  
"Four, I don't mean to give you false hopes, but that's exactly her voice as I recall it". And I feel a tear falling down my cheek.  
"I know" I whisper. I take a deep breath and move my hand so that she knows I'd rather carry on with the tape. She nods and I see she's crying as well. "We need to have a frame of her face, Johanna. We have to".  
And then it happens. I follow her with my eyes until she turns the corner and stops once again. After what seems like an eternity, she moves to her left and turns around, so that now her face is in full display.  
"ZOOM IN JOHANNA! ZOOM IN!" And she does zoom in. At first, I fear we're going to have once again a blurred image of her face because I cannot distinguish her nose from her eyes. But then, almost magically, the frame comes into focus. I clearly hear Johanna holding her breath and I slam my fist on the table.  
That is Tris.


	11. Who is my instructor?

**A/N: That's the last one until Wednesday, guys! This is not a very long chapter, still I think it's interesting in so that it actually gets the things really started. Hope you enjoy! As always, please review and follow!  
XX  
Ae. **

* * *

**TRIS**

* * *

What happened to me? I feel my heartbeat raising and I'm pretty sure I'll black out within a matter of seconds. I need to relax, though, this is the perfect chance to get to know about my past because there is none, apart from John, around, and I feel like I can just ask him thousands of questions and still he'll answer them all. Pull yourself together, Melanie, and jump at this moment.  
The problem is that I cannot really relax because I'm starting to realize that if I'd paid more attention to what the people in the Bureau told me about me and my past, maybe I would have come to the truth before. But everything made sense about my past until this evening. I was born in Chicago, raised in Abnegation then at 16 I transferred to Dauntless because I wanted to be like them, even though I had an aptitude also for Abnegation and Erudite, I made it through initiation and ranked first. When the war between the factions started, I managed to be rescue by the Bureau that then told me the truth about GDs and GPs and given that my parents had been killed by a fanctionless, thus a GD, I immediately joined the compound in its fight. It still makes sense, though, but the problem is that now I look more at what is not there rather than to what is there: why do I have a thousands of memories from my childhood and just a bunch of frame from my initiation? I cannot remember even the rescue part. There is too much that it's not there now. Gaps. Holes. And maybe John can fill them.  
He is still staring at me but he hasn't said a word. I see a look of concern on his face, well, I'm panicking in front of his eyes, it seems almost right to be worried about my condition. I take a deep breath and I try to speak as steady as I can.  
"John, look at me. What happened to me?"  
And what he says surprises me "I cannot answer you now, but I could if you asked me the right question. I'm sorry, Melanie, I feel really like a piece of shit for not telling you everything I know. It's just that's against the rules".  
The right question. What does he mean by that? It seems like that the proper question could trigger the truth about my story. I look at him in pain, tears already falling down my cheeks and then, at my surprise, I start to sob. I'm this close to the truth and there is still something missing to reveal it. What the hell is the right question? I start sobbing louder and louder until I feel an arm encircling my shoulders and pulling me. "Melanie, I'm sorry. But I know you can do this. What I've just told you it's already anything I'm allowed to tell you and nothing less than that. You can do this, Melanie".  
He's right, I can do this. I just have to put at work my Erudite part and something will definitely come up. Come on, Melanie. You can do this.

* * *

 **TOBIAS**

* * *

"I told you, Johanna, I told you the girl I saw today was Tris. I told you". She's staring at me with her mouth wide open, in total disbelief. I know she thought this was only one of my crazy stories. I have to admit that I can understand her, though, because during the first two years after Tris's disappearance I kept on coming at her with nonsensical stories about having seen Tris somewhere in the town, about Tris being still alive. It was a moment in my life when I couldn't distinguish between dream and reality, no matter how hard I tried, and any nice thing I dreamed about her I thought it to be real. No surprise, then, if she had her doubts about my last story.  
I slam my first on the door, my fist is so closed that my knuckles are totally white.  
"Four, I'm sorry about this. I don't even know what to say but it's right there. This is Tris".

I take a deep breath and try to process the new information I've acquired today. First, Tris is alive. Second, she bugged my house. Third, she now goes by Melanie, but it seemed like she knew something about Tris because of her reaction when I called her out loud. Fourth, she doesn't live in the city otherwise we would have found her in some tape from the security system. Fifth, Tris is alive. Tris is alive. It's like a groundbreaking news because it really shakes my life, giving me a new purpose. All I have to do now is finding her. Then, once she's safe in my arms, I'll see the mental condition she is in and bring her back to me.  
"Johanna, I need your help. I have, I mean, I have to bring her back. I have to". I'm acting like a psychotic in the middle of a crisis, but I don't really care. I'm pretty sure Johanna doesn't bother about my behavior. Since there's no reply on her side, I turn and see her staring at the screen: she's still checking on the tape and she keeps on analyzing the same frames.  
"Johanna, what's wrong with those frames?". She sighs and holds her breath.  
"Four, I think I know where she comes from. There was a name on the truck that took her away".  
"Johanna, where the hell is she?" I yell.

* * *

 **TRIS**

* * *

I take a deep breath and try to calm myself. Since I can't come up with the right question, I decide to carry on questioning John about my past. Maybe if I react really badly to what he'll tell me, he'll pity me and tell me the truth. I'm not very willing to act like a weak person but I need answers and if that's how I may get them, this is fine by me.  
"John, what about my initiation? How did they cover up my Divergence?"  
And then something really strange happens. John smiles widely at me and then says "That's because your instructor was a Divergent as well, or at least he thought he was. He taught you how to go through your fear landscape without actually manipulating anything in it. And that's how you succeeded."  
My instructor. It doesn't surprise me to realize that I don't remember him at all. Or maybe it does surprise me. I don't really know how to read my emotions anymore.  
"John, who was my instructor?"

I hear the door opening behind my shoulder but this doesn't stop John from answering me. "Tobias Eaton. Welcome back, Tris. You've been missed". I don't even manage to really process what John has just told me because something hard hit me in the head and the world goes black.

* * *

 **TOBIAS**

* * *

"JOHANNA I'M GOING TO ASK YOU THE SAME QUESTION ANOTHER TIME". I'm yelling so loudly that my ears start ringing. She looks at me intensely and slowly nods.  
"Tobias, she is at the Genetic Compound".


	12. Revenge

**A/N: Surprise surprise! I've had some spare time on my commuting train, so here we go with another chapter. I haven't double checked it though, so forgive me for any mistake whatsoever. PLEASE REVIEW AND FOLLOW! Any suggestion or idea of how should things go is more than welcomed along with any criticism you may have! Thank you also to all those silent readers who have been following my story since the very beginning. Thank you for you time! I really can't wait to hear it from you when you are ready to share. Feel free to PM me!**  
 **XX**  
 **Ae.**

* * *

 **TOBIAS**

* * *

I feel the rage creeping on me and my hands start to shake. David and his crew of psychotics have been holding Tris captivated for the last 10 years, God knows doing what to her. I hope for their own safety that they didn't mess up with her or else I'm going to tear their compound to shreds. I'm so furious that I start seeing red at the corner of my vision and while Johanna starts to get blurred, I feel my heartbeat rate booming in my ears. I actually think she's trying to tell me something, but it's like my mind has been blocking out everything since she snapped that news to me. Tris is at the compound. I try to calm down so that I can listen to what Johanna is trying to tell me because by the look on her face she's starting to freak out. I inhale and then exhale slowly, enjoying for a moment the feeling of fresh air on my face.  
After a couple of minutes, the ringing in my ears starts to go away, even though my hands keep on shaking. Easy on this, Tobias, easy on this. I turn towards Johanna but she doesn't seem to be aware of me because she just stares intensely at the screens in front of her eyes. I try to get my surroundings into focus and I see that she's checking on some old frames, some dated back to two years as the date in the left corner of the screens shows. All of a sudden, she puts her hands on the mouth and gasps. I've never seen Johanna this panicked before now which puts me on edge. What's wrong? I must have said this out loud because she whispers something to me. "Johanna, I can't hear you if you speak so low. Raise your voice and update me on what you've seen". She is still staring numbly at the screens and her hands are still covering her mouth. This must be bad, really really bad if she doesn't even manage to say anything. I walk towards her and shake her, maybe some brisk movement will be enough to bring her back to reality. "Johanna, listen to me. Tell me something, for God's sake. You are making me more nervous than I'd like to be!". My tone is harsh enough I guess because I see a flash of new awareness in her eyes. "Four, what if you sit down first and then I'll tell you what's going on?". This must be very very bad if she wants to get ready for it. I take a deep breath and slowly sit on the chair next to her, still staring at her eyes. I don't want to break our visual contact because I have this feeling that if I do so, she'll try to hold some of the truth from me. "Okay. So. The problem is that I think things are worse than what I thought" That's not possible, Johanna, I refuse to believe it.  
"You know, when I first saw Tris in today's tape the first thought that came to my mind is that she incredibly resembled the girl who's been rescuing Divergents from Chicago during the last years. There was something about her frame or her movements that immediately recalled me of that girl. And I had to check, you know, just like you needed to know whether that girl was Tris. The problem is that by checking frames from the rescues' night" she pauses and sighs "I'm sorry Tobias, but that girl is Tris".  
My ears start to ring once again, I'll be probably be deaf by the end of the day and I shut my eyes close as if this would prevent me from facing the new reality. I try to process another groundbreaking truth. Great day today. Tris is not only alive and being held at the compound, but she actually works for it. She's been on some missions for it for the last ten years. There is no more hope that I may have back the person I used to love because now I know that Tris as I knew her is gone. A world where she works for the compound is also a world where she doesn't exist any longer to me. All of a sudden all the pieces come together. First, she thinks her name is Melanie and that's why she ignored me when I called her Tris. Second, if she works for the compound she was in my house on a mission for it. I'm not 100% sure because I haven't been back to my apartment yet but still it seems a more than plausible option to me. Third, they have done something to her, something really bad and painful if she works for them and doesn't remember who I am. Or her name. Johanna gently touches my arm and that's then when I realize I've been clenching my fist so tight that one of my knuckles is covered in blood. I've broken my skin. I can't help but shouting. And what comes out of me is a bloodcurdling shout that fully expresses my pain. It is not like I've started hating the compound when Johanna told me about Tris being one of workers, it's and old and well rooted loathe I've been feeling for the last ten years but I really didn't expect it to increase. Is there something more than loathe? Because I think that's what I'm experiencing right now. My rage is so overwhelming that my vision goes velvet red. That's exactly the color of the blood and I bet a lot of it will sooner come from the bodies of those working in the compound. Revenge. That's what I want but it's not only for me. For Tris. For Chris. For Caleb. For anyone who has been mourning Tris's death and would hate the idea of her being under David's control. And revenge is what I'll get at any costs. Even at the expense of my own despicable life. I turn around ready to leave the control room and head to the Genetics Bureau, but something stops me from going. Johanna's arm.  
"Johanna, I mean you no harm but I swear that if you don't let me go after them right now, I cannot promise I won't hurt you" I hiss at her. My jaws are so clenched together that I hear the unpleasant sound of my teeth rubbing together at every single word I snap at her. And I mean everything I've just said. Everything and all the underlying implications. There's a flash of fear in her eyes but it immediately goes away, leaving space to a new determination. She holds my arm in an iron grip and I start to feel once again rage shadowing my thought. "Johanna. This is the last warning". She slowly nods but doesn't free my arm. "Four, I know what you want to do, or even better, where you want to go right now, but this is not the proper moment". That's the last thing I'm going to hear from her tonight. "Not the proper moment? How do you dare to say such a thing to me? There is no proper moment for saving Tris, no proper moment for having her back. Ten years is more than enough to me" I yell at her. I need to put some distance between the two of us, otherwise I may do something I'll regret. I try to motion myself to the door but still she tightens her grip on my wrist. "Tobias, that's not what I meant" I frown at hearing my name coming from her mouth "We need a plan to bring down the Genetics Bureau and you definitely can't do it all by yourself. You're too smart to really believe that". I try to slow my heartbeat and clear my mind because what she is saying, despite how unwilling I am to admit it, makes sense. I can't do it alone. "Moreover, I think you need to tell your friends about what you've discovered today. They deserve it and once they know the truth, they'll help you. So, since it seems like you cannot think straight, I'm going to tell you what's next. First, go home. Have a shower, eat and go to sleep. Night will clear your mind, I promise you. And first thing tomorrow you give a call to your friends so that they know about Tris and have a meeting at your place with them. I'll give you the tape we've just analyzed so that you can show it to them because they won't believe you" I slowly nod, this is something I can do. "Of course, check your apartment because if Tris was there on a mission for the Bureau then she might have left something somewhere." She lets go of my arm and goes back staring at the screens, so I guess I'm free to go now.  
Surprisingly enough, I do exactly what she tells me and once I'm done, I start to inspect my apartment. Even if I don't know what I'm looking for, there must be something and this thought is enough to keep me going even when I do not find anything. After more than one hour, I take a break and sit down on my couch. So, there's one thing I'm absolutely sure about: I'm looking for something small, otherwise by now I'd have already found it. Something small that can be hidden anywhere. And it must be useful for the compound, but that's a given. I try to think about it but nothing comes to my mind so the only thing I can do is resuming my search. I start this second round of inspection from the kitchen because it's the first room you get to once you open the front door. And I saw her standing there. It was only four hours ago. Where is she now? Is she all right? I'm almost on the verge of tears and I try to focus as much as possible on my task to push any sad feeling away from me. Focus, Tobias. I kneel down and try to see things from a new perspective. There's a green flash of light but it's so short and so tiny it may as well have come from the outside. I stare at the drawers and then there's another flash. That must mean something. And when it goes off once again, I spot something just under the counter. I stretch my arm outside to grab it and I immediately understand what it is: a bug. Tris was bugging my house. I run my hand through my hair and slowly exhales the breath I now realize I've been holding. There must be more but they are so small I don't how I can spot them. Then I come up with a brilliant idea: if I switch off all the lights, I'll easily see them thanks to the green light. I smirk at myself and so as I said. I wait for a couple of seconds and then there is some green coming from behind the wardrobe by the bathroom. Another bug. After spending 30 minutes in the dusk and checking in every single corner, I'm now sure there is nothing left. For the sake of security, I slam the two bugs on the floor and stamp my feet on them. Then I take up what's left and flush it down the toilet. Better safe than sorry. Your move, now, David.

* * *

 **TRIS**

* * *

I wake up to a white ceiling. Where am I? I try to sit up but my head goes dizzy immediately. Everything is spinning around me and it takes me one full minute to start having a proper view of the room I'm actually in. The walls are so flashing white that I must be somewhere in the compound, even though I've never actually been here before. I'm still staring in front of me when I hear the sound of a door opening.

* * *

 **A/N: any thought on who is coming to see Tris? How do you think Four's friends will react to the news he'll deliver them? Let me know!  
**


	13. Speak out

**A/N: Things are getting more and more complex and more and more intriguing (or at least I hope so!). We are definitely going to have some action in the next chapter (finally)!  
PLEASE REVIEW AND FOLLOW!  
XX  
Ae.**

* * *

 **TRIS**

* * *

"John! Oh John! I'm so glad too see you!" John comes into the room carrying a tray with some food on it and immediately my stomach starts rumbling. I smile to him in apology and walk up to get the tray myself. First, food, then questions. John patiently sits by my side watching me eat. I feel a lit bit uncomfortable when people stare at me while I'm eating, but it's not like I can ask him to stop since he is the one who brought me some food.  
When I'm done, I push the tray at one side and try to focus. There is definitely going to be a nice and interesting discussion between the two of us. Revealing, even.  
"So, John. What happened to me? The only thing I remember is a sharp pain in the head and nothing more. Where am I?"  
"Let's start with the easy answers. You are in the basement of the compound, exactly in my room. I personally brought you here when you blacked out". I nod to signal him to carry on.  
"I have to ask you a question before going on delivering you the truth. What's your name? I know, it seems a silly one, but it is very important that you answer it nonetheless."  
My name? What question is that? Anyone knows in the compound that my name is Melanie and that's it. But since he specifically asked me about it then this means that there was something I discovered in the control room about me and maybe my past, if a change in my name was the result. This is all due to the concussion I ended up having after being hit in the head. Focus Tris focus. I try to replay in my mind all the events of yesterday night and I start from the things I know for sure.  
1\. I came back from a mission in Chicago which was partially successful  
2\. On my mission, I almost got caught by my target, Eaton, which explains why my mission went bad.  
3\. Once in the compound I directly went to the control room because of something Eaton told me and that I had to check  
4\. John was in the control room and I asked him to show me something from my past. And I think I asked him something specifically about Eaton. What, though?  
Then, almost in a nightmare, I feel like my mind is leaving my body. Extra-corporeal experience. I zoom out and then the memory strikes me.  
"Eaton was your instructor. Welcome back, Tris." I must have said them out loud because John nods earnestly at my side. I slowly turn to face him so that he can explain me better about this.  
"Tris, I'm so glad you are back. I know that my name doesn't mean anything to you right now, but I'm Uriah."  
Uriah? What a strange name is this? Some puzzlement must show on my face because I see Jo- I'm sorry, Uriah- frowning and staring intensely at me. I immediately break the visual contact with him and stare at the floor. There is something shining in a corner of the room and I walk up to it to try and have a closer look. Meanwhile, Uriah resumes his speech.  
"You can trust me, you know. We were great friends in Dauntless and I actually admired you a lot. We've been through hell together and ended up here. But Tris, I don't know how to convince you about this, but you have to trust me".  
As soon as my vision gets into focus, there they are, on the floor. Some syringes. What have I been injected with? What have you done to me, John? How can you ask me to trust you after what I've just seen? As I turn around to face him, I see that he is approaching me with his left arm hidden behind his body. "Tris, you have to trust me on this one".

* * *

 **TOBIAS**

* * *

They are all here. Johanna actually came to support me because I basically begged her to come over so that I can rely on someone that actually knows I'm not crazy and what I'm telling is the whole truth. Zeke, Evelyn, Christina, Caleb, Shauna, Amar, Cara and Matthews. They are all there and looking at me waiting for my speech. I take a deep breath.  
"I'm about to tell you something that Johanna and I discovered last night. It's scaring" and here Christina jumps in "Then we'd better call you Five. Fear of discoveries". That smart-mouth. Once a Candor, always a Candor.  
I run my hand in my hair and try to resume the speech. "As I was saying, this will be something that will change our lives forever so I need you to let me speak without interrupting me until I'm done. Do we have a deal?" They all nod and take on a serious expression on their face. Christina included.  
The problem is that I don't know where to start from. Thanks God, Johanna sees me panicking and starts telling them the whole story. Since I'm not that focused on the telling, I can look at my friends' face and the way in which their expression changes while Johanna speaks.  
"So, do you remember the girl we told was rescuing Divergents from Chicago? We found her" Nice way to introduce the argument, Johanna, well done. "So, since I think you won't believe what I'm about to say to you without giving you some evidences actually supporting it, I'd like you to have a look at this tape, first". They all turn towards the television and Johanna makes the video start. I have to wait for a couple of minutes before starting to hear them gasp or sob. Then Christina stands up from my couch and walks towards the television. From where I stand I can clearly see she's spelling the name of Tris without actually being able to pronounce it. A tear is falling down on her cheek. Once she reaches the television, she stretches out her hand and touches Tris's face in the screen. And then she says it: "TRIS!". Three seconds later, her name comes out also of Caleb's mouth, but it sounds more like a prayer than a statement.  
For a few minutes my living room is fulled of tears, gasps and sobs and I gently wait for them to pull themselves together.  
"This is not a made-up video. Any frame in it comes from the security system of this town and this is yesterday evening. She was here yesterday but she's been here more than once during the last year on a mission." I take a deep breath. This is going to be hard on them, and very painful as well. "We know where she is and what she does for living." I pause and I feel Christina's heels clicking on the floor.  
"Guys, she's at the Genetic Bureau and she works for David. She's the girl who rescues Divergents from Chicago". As a glass shattering to the ground, I see the pain making its way into their faces.

* * *

 **TRIS**

* * *

When I wake up, I'm once again all alone in the room I was in when I first woke up this morning. If that was morning. But I can't be sure because there are no windows. Once again, I woke up to find Jo- Uriah staring at me. He injected me with something so I'm not that eager to trust him once again. As soon as he sees than I'm wide awake, he leans towards me. I can clearly feel my heartbeat raising. What will he do to me this time?  
Then I hear his voice in my ear.  
"Tris, don't be afraid" I am already, Uriah. "I've just injected you with an anti-memory serum". Anti-memory serum? Is that even a word? "Jean is developing a specific memory serum for you. He wants to erase from your memory something. And I bet it's your memories from your last mission in Chicago." But why? It's almost as if he could read into my mind "He's afraid you may run away and he wants you to stay and work for this compound."  
Anti-memory serum. Okay. Maybe Uriah is not that bad, in the end. I give him a little smile, so that he knows I trust him, at least a bit.  
"You know, not anyone in this compound supports Jean and his policy. There are actually many GPs that despise him. One of them works in the scientific lab and he's the one who gave me this anti-memory serum. He's working also on something else on my behalf, but I'll tell you when time comes."  
That sounds acceptable to me. But still, I have one more question left. "Who hit me in the hand? That was an hard blow!"  
"It was me" I hear a voice coming from behind my shoulder and I turn to see Michael standing by the door. "Michael? What the hell? You still stalking me?"  
Both Uriah and Michael laugh. Okay, now, someone has to explain something because if that's so funny as it looks like, I want to join them in their laughing. Then Uriah starts speaking  
"Tris, it has never been like you though. You know, you must have noticed that Michael started to 'stalk you', as you defined it, only very recently. That's because he has been working with me and we both wanted to have an eye on you to be there when the time for truth would come. I was in the control room when you were in Chicago, hoping you met Tobias. Michael and I wanted you to know the truth but we needed something to trigger your memory first. I'll explain you why later on, but for now trust me. So when we saw you coming back, we hoped you would come to me in the control room but we needed someone to have a look on what was going on outside the control room so that he could protect us. Michael volunteered for that because he claimed that you would run away if you saw him there as well. This is why he hit you in the head. Jean was coming over to see why it was taking you so long to leave the control room and we needed to take you somewhere else so that he wouldn't have any suspects on me. But of course, it's not like you would welcome Michael with open arms and we needed you to disappear as soon as possible. Thus, knock you unconscious."  
Okay, that made sense, I have to admit. I could argue their rescue methods could have been nicer, but it didn't really seem the case to me.  
"Thank you, guys. And I'm sorry Michael, I really did think you were stalking me". He nods slowly. I hope this means he forgives me.  
"Tris, there is more we have to tell you".


	14. Uriah

**A/N: Once again, I want to thank everyone who is been reading my story since the very beginning. I'd love to feel some appreciation from you, though, because your support is what really keeps me going. So please please, if you enjoy my writing, find a way to let me know because that would really make my day.  
I also have a request for you: I haven't planned the whole plot out, so: where would you like this story to go? What do you want to happen between Tris and Four? Is there a specific thing you would like to see featured in my plot? Please let me know! And as always, please REVIEW, FOLLOW or PM me!**  
 **XX**  
 **Ae.**

* * *

 **TRIS**

* * *

I cannot believe my ears. Is there something more I need to be updated on? As if what I've been learning during the last two days were not enough. Still, the numb look on Uriah's face makes me understand that I need to listen to him.  
"Fine, Uriah. I'm listening" He smiles at me and then slowly starts to speak. His eyes are lost, as if they do not really focus on anything surrounding him and words start to flow. I embrace myself and get ready for anything he'll trow at me.  
"Tris, I know you don't remember anything about me but I still feel guilty for not having come to you before to tell your story. Which is also mine under many aspects" Tears are starting to fill his eyes and I feel bad for him. "Tris, we were like best friends back in Dauntless and you've been by my side helping me overcome death and pain. You truly have been my anchor and even though we've known each other for a very little time, you've never hold back from giving me an hand. I'm pretty sure that when you regain your memory, you'll be pretty upset with me for not having told you anything up to this moment. My story and your story are very similar under many aspects. Except one: I remember anything about Chicago."  
He starts sobbing and I really don't know what to do to ease his pain. I've never been good at human relationships and I'm really jeopardized when I see my hand landing on his shoulder and squeezing it a bit. I don't know if that was the right thing to do but by the little smile he gives me I think it was not that bad either.  
"I've a family back in Chicago, a brother, Zeke, and my mother, and I haven't been in touch with them for the last 10 years. I'm not blaming them: they said the last farewell to me and left this compound thinking I was dead. What actually happened is that the Genetics Bureau managed to heal me but as an exchange for that, they forced me to stay at the compound and work for it until the end of my I'm Divergent, just like you are. I signed a contract with them and I swear, Tris, that if I had noticed that there was a clause in it which stated that I wouldn't be able to tell you anything or even come up to you and introduce myself, I wouldn't have signed, Tris. You have me to believe on this". He shrugs his shoulder as if he could push away all his sorrow.  
"Seeing you around for the last ten years without being able to tell you the truth, well. Almost a nightmare. But the worst thing was seeing you working for them. And you didn't only work for them, you actually supported the compound policy against the GDs. That was the worst of it all. You, a free spirit, a fighter against inequalities, supporting discrimination. That's when I realized I couldn't stand them controlling you any longer. And it was also when Michael entered in the plan".  
Michael? What the hell has Michael to do with this shit? Better not make me thank him, though. I'm still not over his stalking attitude of the last week.  
"Michael used to work as a technician in the labs of the bureau, but he had also access to secret documents being in charge of the scientific development. And it's thanks to his power that I managed to put up a plan to save you and let you see the truth. There is another room, along this corridor. It's almost a library, except that it needs a code to open the door and Michael has it".  
"Uriah. Please. What are you trying to tell me?"  
"We found a document with your name on it. At first, when I read it, I couldn't (or I didn't want to) believe my eyes. I was in shock because nothing on those sheets of paper made any sense to me. But then I realized that it was very Abnegation-like, that it was you acting selflessly. And it's when you are selfless that you are the bravest. Tobias thought so at least. I have to admit" he chuckles "that it seems nothing but stupid and illogical to me, though".  
"Uriah, what did you find in that document?"  
He sighs and starts rubbing his hands nervously.  
"A contract, Tris. A contract you signed with David ten years ago".

* * *

 **TOBIAS**

* * *

Christina is the first one saying something. "Four. Are you 100% sure?"  
I simply nod. There is nothing more I need to add to that gesture. Then they all start speaking all at once and a tremendous headache explodes in the middle of my forehead.  
"SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU!" I scream at the top of my lungs. My throat aches.  
"You shut up and listen to me" That's the voice of Four the Instructor. "Sit on the couch and shut your mouth closed until I tell you to open it."  
Silence hangs in the air and they all slowly move back to their original positions.  
"There is more. If you think this is bad, then get ready for what comes next. I don't know if you noticed it but in the tape there was also my voice. I was calling Tris by her name. The problem is that she actually answered me saying that her name is Melanie" Christina's mouth is about to move but my death glare makes her shush: you don't interrupt me till I'm done. "So. Johanna and I do believe that something happened to Tris, something really bad as you can clearly understand: she doesn't remember her name or me. And she works for the compound. Now. The Tris we all knew would never do something like this being herself. We do believe the compound did something to her even though we don't know what. But definitely something bad."  
I quickly look out of my window to recollect my thoughts.  
"We want to rescue her from there and bring her in Chicago. At home. Among us. She may not remember who she is but we do. Any of us. This could be our last chance to save her and have her back and-"  
"I'm in. I don't know if you have a plan but I'm in". Zeke. Pure Dauntless style: first act then think.  
"We are all in, you idiot!" Christina. And all the other nod in agreement.  
And then I feel it, stirring from the middle of my chest and making it way to my face. There's hope. We can do it.

* * *

 **TRIS**

* * *

"Uriah. Are you sure you are all right?". I'm really having an hard time believing him.  
"I knew it. I knew you wouldn't believe, but I do have a leg to stand on. I have evidences, proofs. This will satisfy your Erudite mind and make you believe me. That's why I've been working at the control room for the last ten years: to gather evidences. The compound stores every single tape of every single day in Chicago. And I was able to reconstruct your time in Dauntless. And your time here, before becoming Melanie. It's all in this tablet."  
I stare into the space, trying to process what I've just heard and I stretch out my left hand to grab the tablet.  
"Tell you what. You have a look at it and when you're done, I come back and we have a talk. Jean thinks you are sick, so we have at least a whole day before he notices your absence" he stands up. And I grab the hem of his shirt pulling him down on the bed.  
"Uriah. If you are a friend of mine like you say you are, don't make me do this by myself. Stay with me. Please". He smiles and hugs me."Sure, Tris". And then I press play.  
One hour later, the world seems a different place. Lies and pain everywhere. I look at Uriah and see him smiling. He whispers in my ear relaxing words, until my heart rate decreases and all the panic goes away.  
Now I know what I've signed for. I've just seen myself on the screen asking David to wipe out my memory. Erase it. Take it away from me for Tobias's sake. I'm an horrible person.  
As I lean forward towards the screen to have a closer look at Tobias's face, Uriah starts speaking to me.  
"Tris, now comes the nice part. You see this?" and he moves a little bottle full of white liquid in front of my eyes "That's a serum Michael created in the laboratory. He took him a long time, but it actually came out to be the perfect timing. This will make all your memories come back to you. They will be more to you than scenes seen on a screen. They will be alive in your mind, Tris. I showed you the tape first so that the experience could me less shocking to you, but now that we are done with all those documents and evidences, I think it's time. Are you ready?"  
He doesn't even manage to finish the sentence because I've already grabbed one syringe from the floor and I'm injecting the serum in my body.  
Before the world goes black, I manage to say one last thing to Uriah: "I want them all dead. And I want Tobias back" and then I black out.


	15. Planning

**A/N: As always review and follow!**

* * *

 **TOBIAS**

* * *

"Guys, I do appreciate your enthusiasm. But we need a plan and it better be a really good one if we want to succeed in it. First thing first, though. I've been thinking about this all night and my idea is that first, we rescue Tris from the compound and then, in a second moment, at some point in the near future, we bring down the Genetics Bureau. I really don't believe that we could achieve both goals at the same time and we may end up not even rescuing her if we overdo. So my idea is that we focus on how to save Tris first for the time being."  
"He's right" Matthews admits "I know the Bureau very well and the chances we can both have her back and destroy it are more than small. Practically inexistent. David would never accept losing both things at the same time and it's not like he'll simply be okay with losing Tris, either."  
We all nod in agreement. The problem now is how to carry out the rescue action and have her back. That's the goal. "Any ideas on how we can do this?" I ask. Everyone stays silent, thinking over a plan. Looking at Caleb in the middle of a reasonament is like looking at a clock with its perfect mechanisms combining together. It can be very fascinating and frightening but right now that's exactly what we need. I stare at him expectantly. If he cannot come up with a perfect plan, at least ideally, none of us can, apart from Matthews and Cara, maybe. But I think he is more motivated than them.  
Johanna starts pacing the room and all of a sudden she just starts rambling. I really have to focus to get every word she says. "So. I haven't been at the compound so I really don't know how to do this, but my guess is that we have to find a way to both spying on the compound and have a map of the building. This way we could know how to both approach it and move in it once we get there. We need to spy on them, though, because we have no idea where Tris is and what they've done to her because, even though she may not be the same person, I do believe that she doesn't like to be left in the dark. She was always so curious, so passionate about discovering the truth and exposing it to the others that I'm pretty confident she is still the same under this respect." She stops and starts rubbing her hands together. "So. Four and I suspect they've beem spying on Chicago for the last ten years" so I wasn't the only convinced of this "This means that they use something within the city to keep an eye on us and I think we can all agree that they've been using our security system and our cameras for that. I mean, I'm not 100% sure but my guess is that our system allows them to see the whole city at once, which would explain how they manage to rescue Divergents from different parts of the town. Matthew, what do you think?". We all turn towards him expectantly but he seems oblivious of his surroundings. Zeke elbows him to bring him back to his senses. "Johanna, I think you are right. They used to spy on you when I was there so I don't see why they should have stopped once you left the compound. I mean, if I were in their shoes, I wouldn't just leave us alone, after having spent years controlling the city, just because Chicago proclaimed its indipendence. The genetic project is over anything for them, it's the real goal of their life. What was your saying? Ah yes, faction before blood. Well, I guess the same goes for them."  
"Are you comparing me to those pansycakes, Matthew?" That's Zeke. I guess the word "pansycake" runs in the family, then, and I can't help but laugh. "I'm trying not to take it personally but man, that was a low blow, ya know.". It's nice to see that we are always the same in some ways, even after everything we've been through and that's exactly what keeps us together. Despite all the pain. Us being always who we are and real to each other.  
"How do we get into their security system, then? There must be a way in exactly like there is one for them" Christina asks. "Yeah. There must be. We need to track down their proxy address and then hack into their.." That's the moment when we all get lost among his words. Apart from Caleb and Cara who are listening attentively to him in pure Erudite style. They both nod every now and again at his words, so I guess they are following him and what he says makes sense. Of course I understand some words for having worked in the Dauntless control room and I'm sure Zeke does as well. But all that part about hacking into God knows what is beyond my possibilities. I used to spy on the leaders, but the tapes were already there for me to use, I only had to cover my tracks and that was basically it. "Guys, would you mind sharing something with us in plain, simple, accessible English? You know, that could be of help since we work together. Just saying" and Christina sighs. She's right, though. "You don't worry about how, that's something we can do from the control room at Johanna's office so we don't really need you help. To put it as easy as possible, you have to think that everytime they spy on us they leave a path of footsteps in the digital records and we can use that path to get to them. Of course, the how is more complicated than the what, but we'll take care of it".  
"Oversimplification doesn't make the knowledge clearer, Matthew".  
"Yeah, whatever Caleb. Thank you for sharing your part of the plan" I say. "What do you expect to get from their digital system?"  
"Anything, Four. So we need to decide what we really need to have so that our mission will focus only on that, leaving aside any other things"  
You're right, Matthews. What do we need, though? I must have asked this out loud because I hear Christina replying to my question. "The map of the building, each single floor of it and each single entry and exit from the compound."  
"Yes, that's right. But we also need a map that shows us where the cameras are within the Bureau so that we know how to avoid them" Very smart of you, Zeke. Very smart. "I also think" this is Shauna "that you need to find a way to enter into their control system and actually control it so that when they get in" she vaguely points at us "you can put on rotation some frames of empty corridors so they won't suspect anything until it's too late". They are all right. But there is something missing, I feel it. And then all of a sudden I realize what it is. "Anything with Tris's name on it". "We'll rescue her, Four. I promise" Johanna says. And I cannot but nod hoping she'll stick to her word. "Okay. When can you do this?" I ask. "The sooner the better and you all know it. So, how long will it take you to hack into their system?"  
"We have to have a look at it before replying you. But I'd say withing three days we may have all we need if the system hasn't changed that much since I left. Even earlier, but, as I said, we have to see how their system works. We can start right now, though" and while saying so, Matthews slowly stands up with Cara and Caleb following him.  
We are getting started. Tris, I'm coming for you.


	16. Awake

**A &N: As always, please REVIEW and FOLLOW**

* * *

 **TRIS**

* * *

I feel numb. That's the only adjective that properly describes what I'm feeling right now. And stupid, almost selfish. My whole life as I used to know it is nothing but a bunch of lies and of me being the worst person on earth. Because that's what I am, let's not pretend I was right or nice or really selfless as I thought I was when I signed that damn contract with Tobias because I'm now sure that by doing so I only broke him. I tore him to shreds. You were the only thing that kept him going and you left him, fully aware that you would leave him in a wasteland of sorrow and loneliness.  
It's so strange to wake up and feel in love. Desperately in love. And to feel the only thing you want right now and probably for the rest of your life is him. Tobias, that I broke and left, that I abandoned on the verge of happiness, that I destroyed no matter how pure my intentions were, that I met only two days ago without knowing who he really was and how much he meant and means to me. How cruel was I in thinking that leaving him would make him happy? He gave me everything, he became my family when my parents died and Caleb betrayed me. And I was his. And still, somehow in my messed mind I thought he would be better off without me. That by doing so I was offering him the possibility of having a new start, afresh. And I was so coward that I left him in pain, remembering anything about me and I had my memory wiped out. COWARDICE is what I despise the most in people and here I am, the cowardest among the coward. And I deserve every single tear of mine, all the pain I'm feeling right now. That's the punishement I deserve for choosing to leave him. I would trade anything to go back to that moment in David's office and change my mind. Literally anything. There is nothing I'm not willing to lose if that means having a second chance, a second possibility to set things right.  
And I have to make things straight. I don't know if he'll ever love me again after finding out that I was the cause of his pain, that I was the one who asked David to wipe out my memory of him, that I was the one who hit the hardest in his weak spot. Me. The blame is all on me and it feels like a burden on my shoulder pushing me to the ground. But I do know that at least I owe him the truth. I owe him. And he'll get it.  
Waves of pain come crushing against me and I cannot escape them nor I wish to. Because that's all my fault and there is nothing than I deserve more than the sorrow I feel right now. I push my head against the wall, and start sobbing like I've ever done in my entire life. And I stay there for what feels like an eternity, punishing me by replaying all the new memories I have now of the two of us together. When he touched my stomach with his hands during training and I blushed. When he showed me his fear landscape, trusting me like he had never done with anyone else, ever. When he came to the Erudite headquarters because he was willing to die with me rather than losing me and going on with his life. When he forgave me and asked for my forgiveness. And I willingly had all of this wiped away from my memory.  
It's too much to process, and definitely I cannot do it by myself. There is one thing that it's clear to me, though. Despite how much I want to go and slam Jean in the face and knock him unconscious, I'm very much aware that beating the crap out of him won't set me free. Nor Uriah, because I'm not planning on leaving him behind. Moreover, he has a plan which means that he has already thought everything through and he knows what we have to do next. So, before acting, I'll need to talk to him and figure out what he has in mind so that I know how to act. I do know that for now I'll have to play along and not reveal my new knowledge to Jean, otherwise I'm afraid he'll inject me with some more memory serum and once he notices I'm immune to it, God knows what he'll do to me. So, for now I'll just pretend I'm the same person he sent on a mission two days ago. I take a deep breath and leave Uriah's room: I need some fresh air, a walk outside this compound, a place where I don't have to hide and can mourn my loss. And plot a revenge.  
But I'm not a lucky person. As I walk by the control room to get to one of the exit doors of the compound, I see Jean walking towards me. And unfortunately, I can't but go towards him as well because this corridor has only two door at its end and there is nowhere I can hide right now. I try to stop my impulse to slap him and gently smile at him.  
"It's nice to see you around, Melanie. John told me you were sick after your mission". This name, the name I thoght I had until yesterday, now sounds so wrong as if it doesn't really fit me. I don't know how I didn't notice it before, but I guess that truth gives you a new perspective on everything. What really puts me on edge is not hearing my old name, though: it's the grimace he put on his face and the suspicious tone of his question. He doesn't really believe I was sick. Careful, here, Tris, play this right.  
"Yes, John helped me and offered me his room because I blacked out while I was in the control room speaking with him. He says I was so tired that my body couldn't even handle staying awake any longer and I just fainted. I think it's right, because I slept almost 20 hours in a row and I have to admit, I've never felt better than I do now"  
"I'm glad to hear that, Melanie" the same frightening grimace on his face. "It was very nice of him to bring you to his room" So he knows where I've been for the last day.  
"He didn't know where my room was and he thought his room would be just fine to me. It's not like I was that aware of my surrounding" My hands are shaking and I feel the need to get out of his way. "Jean, if you don't have any mission for me today, I'd love to have a walk outside and breathe some fresh air. If that's not a problem to you" I stare intensely at his eyes, forcing him to let me go. And surprisingly, he does.  
"Of course, Melanie. You need some rest and I think that a walk outside will make you feel better. I'm sorry that I cannot keep you company, though. I have a lot of work to do and people to meet today"  
"No worries, Jean. Have a nice day".

I walk away and when I turn around I see that he' staring at me, his eyes piercing my back and the door never seems close enough.


	17. We wait

**A/N: I wrote this chapter while listening to "Man on a wire" by The Script. Hope you enjoy this. As always, please REVIEW, FOLLOW or PM me so that I know you like my story! I'd love some feedback!**

 **XX**

 **Ae.**

* * *

 **TRIS**

* * *

Being able to finally breathe in some fresh air from outside the compound makes me feel alive and ready to face my new reality, as if this new air brought with it also some new awareness and more desire to fight back and have him back. If that would actually be possible, because I'm pretty sure I won't be forgiven that easily by Tobias. Or Christina, as well. For her things will even be worse than for Tobias, since she was a close friend to both me and Uriah, which means she'll have to face not one but actually two resurrections and accept we were alive while she was mourning us. That's to much to take in for anyone and I'm well aware of it but there is no way to sweeten the pill and make it easier for her because sooner or later we'll have to tell her the truth. I'm done with lies and tricks, I'm done with all this shit. Moreover, hiding the truth by her would be exactly the same thing the compound has done to me for the last ten years and I'm nothing like them.  
I look down to my collarbone, knowing what my tattoo actually means. When I asked David about them, he simply said that they represented the three factions I had an aptitude for and I had them inked on my body as a way to state the superiority of GPs over GDs. Bullshit. I have a brother as the anti memory serum showed me last night and he is the third bird of the tattoo. Caleb, Erudite transfer. I'm not sure how I feel about him, though, because he betrayed him more than once. I guess that if Tobias forgive me, then I'll do the same with him. One betrayal for one betrayal, but I don't owe him anything more than that, at least until I figure out how to deal with what he has done to me and overcome it, which, I bet,won't happen very soon. The same goes for Tobias actually forgiving me.  
I finally find a tree and sit by it, my back against the trunk and I stay there looking at the horizon until sunset. I did need some time by myself but it's not like I can stay here forever, doing nothing won't definitely bring Uriah and me back to Chicago. Uriah. I need to talk to him.

I stand up and quicky gets back to the compound, headed at the control room. I quicly walk by Jean's office, careful not to make my presence noticeable. When I open the door of the control room, Uriah is there sat on a chair looking at the screens Chicago. I cough.  
"John, good evening". I'm pretty sure there are cameras in here and considering the fact that Jean called me Melanie when I met him this morning, he must still think I know nothing about my past and the only thing I can do is to play along and not get caught.  
Uriah stares intensely into my eyes and then says "Hello, Melanie. How are you?"  
So he knows how dangerous this situation is.  
"I'm fine,thanks. I came here because I noticed I left my gun in your room and I was wondering if I could have it back" I smile as brightly as I can. Play along, Tris. Hold on it.  
"Yes, of course. I'll come with you" and while saying so, he stands up and gently puts his hand among my shoulder blazes. "Let's go".  
We walk silently until we are well inside his room, safe and away from any camera.  
"Uriah. What's the plan?" I split out as soon as I hear the click of the door closing behind me. He immediately stiffens but then he starts whispering to me.  
"I've been having an eye on Tobias and the crew since you left Chicago. They met at Tobias's place this morning and even though I can't be sure what they talked about, I'd say they have a plan of some kind. Or at least they are trying to figure out something to rescue you"  
"And what do we do in the meanwhile?"  
"We wait"

My eyes get wider and wider and I can't believe my ears.  
"You must be kidding me" I say as I try to pass by him and get to the door. If he wants to stay all quiet and still, that's fine, but I'm not going to wait any longer. Ten years are more than enough to me.  
"Tris" he sighs grabbing my forearm. "Listen to me and you'll see why I want us to wait. Okay?" I stare intensely at his eyes and then eventually nod. "Good. So. First, we have to understand what the crew is up to so that we may even help them in their attempt to free us. There's no point in trying to escape when they are coming for us. They will, you know them. Now that they know we are here, they'll come for us. How does this sound?"  
"Fine. But I want to do something. I have to"  
He breathes in some air and looks at the wall.  
"We will Tris. Eventually. So, as I was saying, they will figure out something and come here. I'm sure they will try and gather information about the compound before actually doing something and what we can do is make it more available to them than they are now and that's on me, because you don't have access to any document in this compound. I've already re-classified some of them today so that they are not anymore the top secret and they'll get to them easily, now, considering they have three Erudites in the team it will like drinking water. I don't think it won't even be that challenging to them. Anyway, since you had an aptitude to Erudite, you can help figuring out which documents or things they'll need the most".  
I nod. Right. "So, for now they have access to any map of the compound they may need but that's all I could think about because that's what I'll need if I were in their shoes."  
"Uriah, they need access to the cameras so that they can locate us. Stop looking at me like that because you're coming with me and I don't accept any objection you may have. End of the argument. Okay?"  
"Tris, how can I go back to Zeke after spending 10 years away? I mean, the only excuse I have is that the compound forced me to stay after healing and by saying they'll kill my family if I ever tried to escape. Zeke is Dauntless. He won't accept this".  
"Uriah, just stop. Do you think it will be easier for me? I made this happen, I asked for it. I willingly left them so any guilt you may be feeling right now it's nothing compared to what I've done. You're coming back. With me. Am I clear?"  
And then, finally, he nods.  
"'kay. So. Back to business. Is there a way you can help them get into the security system?"  
He starts rubbing his chin while thinking. "That can only be done by Jean's office. We may need a specific program - we can ask Michael about it- that mirrors his so that I can disable or at least weaken the security system. Difficult, but not impossible. I can do that but I need you to help me with Jean and drives him away from his office. Can you do this?"  
"Of course, Uriah. I'll think about a plausible excuse".  
"Awesome. I'll tell Michael as soon as I see him about the mirror program and we see what we can do. If you happen to figure out there is something more the crew may need let me know,okay? Now we need to go back, I've been away from the security system for almost 10 minutes and Jean may suspect something. Let's go" and he leads me to the door. We can do it.

* * *

 **CALEB**

* * *

I randomly click on a document with Tris name on it. Thanks God, not much has changed since Matthews left so we managed to gather some maps of the compound. That was easy enough. As I scroll through the document, I notice a series of clauses and Tris's signature at the bottom of the last page. What is this that Tris signed the day before the attack as the date at the beginning of this thing shows. Then I carefully read the first clause and everything inside me shatters to pieces. How am I going to tell Four about this? How could she have done it to us? Having her memory erased? I rub my eyes to wake up from this nightmare. How? Why? And then I hear the door opening.

Four is here.


	18. Coming

**A/N: major chliffhanger here! I had to, though! Any feedback is more than welcomed so please share any thought you may have on my story with me. I am more than open to criticisms as well because I do not expect to be perfect.  
PLEASE REVIEW**  
 **XX**  
 **Ae.**

* * *

 **/7 DAYS LATER/  
** **TRIS**

* * *

Two days ago, Uriah and I successfully installed the mirror program in Jean's office and we took over the security system. I don't know how he actually managed to check that, but Uriah claimed that the Chicago guys entered into the system yesterday night at 3 a.m. He babbled something about hacking, proxy server and God only knows what and from the little knowledge I have of computer systems, I managed to undestand that the babbling means the guys made it. That we made it. And since that moment everything has started to get faster and faster and here we are, hidden in a dark corridor within the compound waiting for the crew to break in. I've thought a lot about how this will be, of how speechless I'll be at seeing Tobias, but I guess there isn't much I can actually predict about that moment. I'll just act like I feel to, but as Uriah wisely reminded me five minutes ago, I always have to be in control of myself or we may end up dead and this won't definitely happen now that I'm so close to him. I won't allow it.  
It's 10 30 p.m, now and they should break in at any time. I start biting my bottom lip until I feel the taste of blood in my mouth. For the last time before leaving the compound, I turn to Uriah and say under my breath  
"You sure everything is fine?"  
"For the damn 100th time, yes, it is" and then rolls his eyes  
"You sure there is that video in the control room? That with this corridor being empty running in rotation?"  
"Yes, there is."  
"And you sure they are coming tonight?"  
"Yes, I am"  
"And you.."  
"Tris, if you keep on speaking we can't pay attention to the noises coming from the outside and we may be taken by surprise by their arrival. So" and he grins "Shut. Your. Mouth. Quiet"  
"Uriah, I.."  
"Tris, I swear, if I hear your voice one more time, I'm going to cover your mouth with some scotch-tape and if after that, you manage to get your voice through it, I'll just knock you out. And you don't want to be a burden to us tonight, do you?"  
Fine. I simply nod and wait. I start staring at the door they should be coming from and try to paint once again that image in my head.

All of a sudden I hear some footsteps coming from the outside. They could definitely pass by unnoticed, but since that's what exactly we are waiting for, both Uriah and I get to our feet, guns in our hands, fingers on the trigger. I simply nod at him and grab the knob, opening the door. It's too dark outside to see properly and I haven't yet figured out whetever Tobias is there or not when I hear the distinct and clear sound of a gunshot coming behind my shoulder and then a bullet hits the wall, passing a few inches above my left shoulder.  
I don't have time to thoroughly think about any option I might have right now so when I see Uriah running away, I simply trail behind him. There are people shouting at our back and yelling we have to stop or they'll shoot us. Of course, we don't stop, even though we have no idea about what's outside or who the people we heard walking outside the compound are. They could as well be someone from the security staff of the Bureau or someone from Chicago but since I didn't manage to see anything into the darkness when I first opened the exit door, I'm having trouble planning what to do next. For the time being, the only thing I can do is stay close to Uriah so that either we make it or not, we'll end up being together and the other nice thing I can do is keep on hoping that the crew is here. That's the only thing that keeps me moving when I hear another bullet whistling by my left ear. Where are the people that were walking outside the compound? Where the hell are they? And who are they? Uriah and I are risking our lives on the basis of an hope. Hope that the guys are here, armed and ready to rescue us. I'm also personally hoping that Tobias hasn't read my contract yet so that I'll tell him myself when we are reunited. If we are reunited.  
My feet slip on the mud and I fall more than once to the ground. But I don't give up, I put myself back on feet and keep running behind Uriah. There is nobody around and no noise at all. Even though I think the crew didn't not put off our rescue mission, I start to feel this certainity faiding away as minutes pass by. We are now hidden behind a huge bush and the sound of our breaths cover any natural sound or human as well. Silence hanging in the air.  
"Uriah" I'm panting " where the fuck are they?"  
"We have to trust them. That's the only thing we can do. We cannot go back to the compound to check whether they are here or not so-"  
Another gunshot in the air. My ears start whistling. That must have been a very close one.  
"So, we stay here" Uriah continues "and we shut our mouths. Got it?"  
I simply nod. I try to slow down my heart rate and to breathe slower so that I'm as silent as a human being can possibly be. In and out, in and out. Judgin by his breathing rate, Uriah must be doing the same.

Out of the blue, a new series of multiple gunshots fill the air, but someone must have been hurt by it because a bloodcurdling scream breaks the silence. Despite how hard I'm trying to control it, my heart rate rises again. That's the voice of someone I know, someone from Chicago. They are here, but someone is injured. Whose voice is this? Come on, Tris, you can do this, think it through. Uriah looks at me, panic in his eyes.  
"Tris, that's Christina".  
As soon as I hear her name, without helping in, I find myself running towards the compound, leaving my safe spot behind. I don't care if Uriah says this is stupid, I'm not letting her getting shot once again because of me. I try to move as careful as I can, at the same time trying not to slow down my pace- and then I see her. She's on the ground near the exit door, but by here I cannot see whether there is blood around here. Moreover, she is in a very risky and dangerous position because she is clearly visible from any part of the Bureau.  
As I rack my brain about how to get to her and save us both, I hear her moaning and rolling by her side. Alive. Thankg God.  
"Christina" I whisper, but she doesn't seem to hear me.  
"Chrstina!" I try to say it louder this time. She starts looking around, but she doesn't see me.  
I dare to take a chance and rise my voice: "CHRIS!" and then she does it. She spots me hidden behind the tree, just a few feet away from her. Pain. Frustration. Sorrow. Despair. This is what I see in her eyes while she looks at me. And then her mouth words my name. I simply nod because there is no time to waste right now, I have to get her away from there. Then I hear her saying another name "Uriah!". I turn around and see him just behind me. Good. Now there are two of us here and two Dauntless working together can save Christina's life. For a moment, I look at Uriah without speaking. I know he'll understand me.  
"Cover me" he says and then he sprints towards Chris. I overlook the field to make sure there is no one around, the gun in my right hand. It takes Uriah an eternity- or at least it seems an eternity to me- before he makes it back to the tree with Chris by his side. As soon as she reaches the tree, she just falls to the ground. I kneel by her side, trying to have a look at her wound to see what we are dealing with.  
"Tris, that's nothing. The bullet passed by and touched my skin. It's painful now but it really nothing to worry about." She's right, so we just wrap her forearm up in some bandages.  
"I can't believe you're alive, Tris" she says while she touches my cheek with her hand. She stares intensely at my eyes as if she didn't believe I'm actually here.  
"Girls, sorry to interrupt, but that's not the moment. If you can guide us, Chris, we can make it back from where you come from and go home, now.""I stay, Uriah, she hasn't come here alone and there is nobody around which means that I stay here and look for them while you go back with her" I whisper.  
Without waiting for their reply, I simply run away.

Then I spot something at the edge of my vision. A boy. A big one. Gun in his left arm. I approach him silently so that he doesn't know I', behind his back. As I get closer, I see his facial features more clearly and recognize him as Zeke. I hug him from behind and even though he stiffens at the beginning, as soon as he recognizes me, he hugs me back.  
"Zeke, is there anyone?"  
"Christina. Caleb is waiting for us in the truck."  
"Zeke. Where is Tobias?"  
Silence.  
"Where is he?"  
Silence.  
"WHERE IS HE?"  
And then he finally replies to me: "I'm sorry, Tris."


	19. Maybe

**A/N: I've read many many theories about what happened to Tobias. Thank you for PM me to share your thoughts btw! So, here we go.**

* * *

 **TOBIAS**

* * *

I'm completely in the dark, but I feel at ease in it, though. It's the pitch dark of the control room by Johanna's office and I've been monitoring the rescue mission from the screens for the last two hours. I couldn't force myself to go there and save her. I can't look her in the eyes right now and I feared that my feelings for her, this anger I feel inside of me, could bias my judgement so I left the others take the lead and rescue her. Because if I could have had the last word on this, the mission wouldn't even have even taken place. I don't want her, I don't want her anymore and I don't need her here: if she willingly chose to leave me 10 years ago, now I choose to leave her aside. Now it's my time to make the final call, it's my time to decide what's next for the two of us. And I already made my mind when Caleb made me read that fucking contract.

Still, there was something I owed her. My life. She saved me from myself and she stayed by my side during the most dreadful events of my entire life. What I owed her was her life, then. This is why I said yes to the mission in the end. But there is nothing behind this decision apart from that: no love, no simpathy. Nothing at all. Of course, I willingly left the others hit the field because I didn't want my anger towards her shadowing my judgement and I feared I may have ended up leaving her behind.

I intensely stare at the screens and I hear Zeke's voice in my headphones. Then her voice breaks through my wall of numbness and hits me hard on my weak spot. I feel anything inside of me moving and stiffening, gasping for more. More of her voice, more of her, more of that sound. It's like a thunder making it through a thick layer of clouds, shining and unexpected. It's that kind of thunder that wakes you up in the middle of the night and doesn't let you get back to sleep because it shakes you. It moves you. It scares you. It echoes within you. It asks for attention and cannot be ignored. But I want to. That's why I grab the edge of the table and hold on it as hard as I can, while I try to push her voice as far from my mind as I can. I zoom out from my surrondings and I try to breathe, visualizing in my brain the movements of my lungs. Contraction. Expansion. In. Out. When the edges of my vision stop being purple red, I look at the screens and realize she is on the truck. She is on her way here.

"Zeke" I wait for him to reply back to me

"What?"

I pause. What do I want to ask him?

"Ehm. How is Christina? Everything is fine?"

"She is on Caleb's truck, whereas we are in Johanna's. I really don't know but Tris.."

I cough

"..ehm she says Christina's wound was a very superficial one so she should be fine".

Then both of us don't dare to speak.

"Listen. You sure you don't have to ask me anything more?"

I bite my bottom lip. Am I sure? I start scratching my fingers against the wooden table.

"How..." I cough and breathe "How is she? Don't be obvious when you answer at me"

He whispers "She seems fine. She remembers anything now, or at least it seems so. She is the same, but her face has a different expression on it. Her eyes are darker, deeper, I don't know, Four. It's like she has "sorry" written all over her body. I don't know, probably you are better than me at reading her so you'll figure everything out when you see her".

I simply hang up and try not to think about the moment of our meeting. My plan for now is just to lock me up in my apartment and avoid her as much as possible till Johanna lets me move to another city in America. I've been doing some researchs on the web and discovered there are several active cities so I just have to pick one. Of course, the farther the better. I'm giving myself another week and then I'll decide what to do. So, if everything goes as scheduled, I don't need to think about our meeting because there won't be any.

"Four, Caleb speaking. We have a problem"

What now?

"Go on, Caleb"

"There is someone we didn't expect to be there on truck with us"

"Okay...?"

"Four. It's Uriah"

* * *

 **TRIS**

* * *

I know Zeke has just spoken with him, even though he has kept his voice down, but I immediately understand by the look on his face that was Tobias on the phone. At least he is fine. When Zeke told me he asked to stay at the control room, I shivered. He doesn't want to see me, he doesn't want me and these four words were enough to paralyze there. Zeke had to shake me a bit to bring me back to my senses and even then my world was still a black space with no more stars on its ceiling.

"C'mon, pansycake, we don't want to freeze here right?" and by saying so, he gently pushed me forwards putting his hand between my shoulder blazes. Right. Keep moving, pay attention, stay focused, achieve your goal. Thanks God some of my training finally kicked it and I managed to reach the truck alive pretty easily. A bell rings in my mind: that was too easy. Nobody ran behind us trying to have me back, there were no more gunshots after the one which slightly injured Christina. That was too easy. Too. Easy.

As if it had been planned like this. As if Jean had planned it like this. Which means that he'll come back for me in a near future. He wanted me to leave, even if I don't know why, and just as easily he can have me back.

"Zeke, don't you think it's suspicious? I mean, we simply walked out of the compound, then it is as if they just pretended to go after us, a couple of precise gunshots, a much needed injure, and then anyone disappeared into the air. This is wrong, Zeke. Something is wrong. He wouldn't just let me go like that, that's totally nonsensical and you know it" I snap at him. He takes in my words and then simply nods, staring into my eyes intensely.

"Tris, don't worry. We'll take care of you, you are safe now". Yeah, cool. Except for one thing. I have to ask, though, the thought of it is eating me up from the inside.

"He found out about everything and now he doesn't want me anymore, does he? That's why he wasn't here tonight". Zeke takes a deep breath, breaking our visual contact. He starts rubbing his hand and then nods. Easy as that. And my world goes into pieces.


	20. Make your choice

**A/N: HELLO EVERYONE! Sorry for not uploading earlier but I've recently found myself extremely busy, so this is the best I could do with the little spare time I have now. Which, by the way, reminds me to tell you that updates will be less than before, but I'll try to be as regular as possible. My crazy schedule right now allows me to write a maximum of 2/3 chapters per week so I'll try to stick to the plan.** **As always, for any idea about the plot please PM me, because, since I don't have all the plot planned out, anything could really be extremely helpful. Please REVIEW!**

* * *

 **TOBIAS**

* * *

"What are you saying, Caleb? That Uriah's alive? I fucking touched his cold skin and brought both Zeke and his mother at the compound to unplug him". This is just not real, I mean, this is just totally, utterly unbelievable.

I then realize the same goes for her as well, I did touch her skin and kiss her cold lips. I kept her ashes with me for years. She was dead to me and anyone in the world and now she is alive. What the hell is this? The thought that the compound kept Uriah captivated for 10 years makes me go nuts and I start yelling till my throat hurts. How? Why? When? What am I going to tell Zeke? "Oh hello, by the way, Uriah, you know the one I killed, is actually well and alive. Tris's companion. Bye". Yeah, cool. How do you deliver news like that? Is there a way? At the same time I know I have to tell him before he gets here and sees Uriah in blood and flesh. He has to be warned about it, but it is definitely not necessary to tell him anything right now, isn't it? Just that there is something ahead waiting for him.

"Four" he sounds alarmed. I guess he thinks there is something wrong, some problems with the mission, I mean I don't have any other reason to ring him in his mind. I cough and grab the edges of the table.

"Zeke, everything is fine, the mission is ok. I just wanted to tell you something." He doesn't even let me finish this sentence.

"What?" he almost barks at me, now the panick in his voice is evident. I cough.

"Well, there might be a surprise for you when you come back. Nothing to worry about, I actually think you'll love it. I just wanted to warn you in advance so it doesn't exactly come out of the blue". I try to sound as cheerful as possible but my attitude puzzles him.

"Four. Why are you so happy?"

Oh well done, very smart, indeed. Now, you smart idiot, what are you going to tell him?

"Ehm. Because as I said I think you'll like it" and then before he goes on a full questioning attitude, I just hang up.

WHAT A LOVELY NIGHT FOLKS! Uriah is alive but somehow he has decided to live in the compound rather than to get back to his family. Tris is alive, she had her memory erased 10 years ago and willingly worked for the Bureau. Willingly. It's almost too bad to be true, isn't it? It's just too much in my plate, right now and I've never been that good at dealing with more than one complicated issue at the same time.

* * *

 **TRIS**

* * *

What's the point of escaping if he doesn't want me anymore? What's the meaning of this if I end up having nothing in my hand? Pointless. Any struggle, any fight, any desire to be free and get him back are nothing more than a girl's daydream. It is like waking up one day and finding out the Earth doesn't exist any longer. I did have some hopes he would eventually forgive, I was even ready to physically beg him, to kneel down and kiss his shoes. I was ready for it if that meant having him back. More than eager, actually. I sigh and stare in front of me. At least Uriah has a family waiting for him at home that will forgive him for having worked at the compound.

 _Uriah. Zeke's brother._ O my God. I was so lost and so schocked that I completely forgot that Zeke is Uriah's brother and he doesn't even dare to imagine that his little brother is alive and well. I have to tell him something so that he can get ready. I take a deep breath and start to speak to Zeke but I'm cut off by the buzzing of a phone. Zeke's. Panick fills his eyes as he grabs the phone, his hand shaking. But shortly after, all the color starts to drain from his face and his voice starts to show traces of concern. It's Tobias the person he is talking with and he must be delivering him a terrible news, since, according to Zeke, he sounds way too happy. All of a sudden, Zeke removes the phone from his left ear and stares at the screen, puzzled.

"He just- jjust hung up on me" his voice is barely audible. That must be of a shock to him, I guess.

"What fucking surprise? What does he mean by that?" he puts his head between his knees, his hand on his neck and continues babbling something I cannot really understand, but 'Four' comes out of his mouth quite often.

I rack my brain trying to figure out what Tobias meant and actually the answer comes to my mind quite easily: Uriah. I try to resume my speech once again so that Zeke can know the truth about his brother but I clearly hear the sound of a gunshot filling the air.

I immediately grab my gun and move myself closer to Zeke in order to come up with a plan. The problem is that we cannot hear each other the sound of the gunshots. Awesome. I cannot stay here, in the back of this truck, without knowing what the hell is going on outside so I just kick the doors wide open and here they are. Bureau's soldiers. I wasn't that wrong in thinking that Jean wouldn't let me go away that easily, then. But this doesn't mean I'm just going to surrender to him without fighting. I pull the trigger and the fight starts. Zeke and I are all alone against at least 15 well trained fighters, by what I can judge. Dauntless taught me better, though, and I shoot as I've ever done before. I'm not going to give up.

* * *

 **TOBIAS**

* * *

From the control room, I keep on checking on Zeke and thanks to the microphone he has on his jacket I can actually hear any single words of his. And of hers, of course. I feel guilty creeping on me when I hear the desperate pitch in Zeke's voice but I'm sure that was the best decision I could make right now. They are not safe, not yet at least and I couldn't allow myself to lose one of my man to madness. Because I know the news about Uriah would drive Zeke's mad and I need him to be focused on the mission and nothing else.

Out of the blue, the dreadful sound of a gunshot fills the air. And panic overwhelmes me. I put on the big screen the tape coming from a camera within the truck and I see her standing by Zeke, hand on her gun. I guess they are trying to speak to each other but the gunshots don't allow them to actually communicate. Cool. Then she gets up and kicks the door open. A part of me smiles at the thought of her being the same: brave, selfless. Dauntless. She is on the screen and she is acting as I'd expect her.

Then, in the background, some soldiers slowly appear. They are in the compound's gear. If I was panicking before, now I'm literally freaking out: they've been caught and there's no way the two of them are going to win against so many trained fighters. Then Tris does it again. She acts and shoots at them.

I'm able to follow only the very first moments of this fight on the screen because then everything goes black. A bullet must have hit the camera. The gunshots go on for at least 5 minutes and I hear her shouting once. In pain. I'm scratching my finger against the wooden table and when I look at it, there is clearly the path of my nail in it. Great. A couple of more gunshots and then everything goes dead silent.

I wait impaciently until I hear her voice.

"Jean" Who is this guy? I bet she doesn't like him, her tone was almost a disgusted one.

"Melanie. Or Tris, I'd better say" Her name in his mouth sounds so wrong it makes me shiver. "You cannot escape me. Not now not ever". Anything inside me shouts and twists. She'll come back to me. That's when I realize how silly of me it was to think about running away from her. I want her back. I don't know if I'll ever forgive her, but I must give us a chance to put the pieces back together.

"I'm not yours, Jean. I fulfilled each and any single clause of my contract until John -or should I say Uriah?-" I clearly hear Zeke gasping for air "told me the truth. I'm mine now. I belong to myself. I signed that contract and now I'm free." And then the guy starts laughing. A creepy sound.

"You see the gun at your friend's forehead?" Zeke's. "One word from me and he is as well as dead. So I suggest you pay attention to me" I feel my blood boiling in rage.

I hear some strange sounds, I bet it's Tris trying to free herself until there is a click. The gun is loaded and ready to fire.

"So, my dear, you have two possibilities. One: you come back to me and nothing bad will happen to your friends. Even Uriah will make it back to Chicago. You come with me and I'll inject you with some more memory serum. You're too valuable for us so I thought about just sending you to another compound somewhere in America. Am I clear so far?" I can't believe my ear. This isn't true. This is just not real.

"Good. Two: you go back and I spray death serum on Chicago. Of course, anyone being here on a mission will be killed as well. And I promise you I'll take special care in finding your precious Tobias. So. Make your choice".


	21. Nicole

**A/N: Short but hopefully nice chapter! Please REVIEW!**

 **TRIS**

* * *

Hearing his name is more than enough for me to make up my mind. Knowing that anyone in Chicago will die because of me was already a good reason to give myself in but being aware that Jean will torture him - that's definitely what he means by taking special care- clears my mind and make me see things for what they are.

"First, you make them put the guns down and definitely stop holding Zeke at gunpoint" I snap at him.

"You are not in the adecuate position to negotiate, dearie" Jean's smiling and I want so bad to punch him in the face but I know better so I just breathe in some fresh air to calm me down.

"Well, I guess I am. You want me back and we both know I will, which means there is no point in not fulfilling my requests. So, as I said, guns down"

Jean sighs but he knows I'm right. I'm the best fighter they have and I know way too much about the Bureau and its experiment to just let me go like that. He eventually nods and Zeke is now able to stand up.

"Tris" Zeke says. Without even turning towards him, I just motion my left hand to make him understand he needs to go. Now. I heard pain and sorrow in his voice but I cannot let this break me, I have to let him meet his brother, to make it back to Chicago and to Shauna. It's something that I can give him. And I will. At least, this mission has not been a complete disaster. It's fair and right that I'm the only one losing something. Someone, actually. But I asked for it ten years and now I have to pay the consequences of my decision. The awesome thing about this shit is that Jean doesn't know I'm immune to his memory serum now thanks to Uriah and Michael.

"Just tell him that I'm sorry. That I love him and I do understand he doesn't want me anymore. Okay?" I try to be as coincise as possible but even so I choke on the last words and I feel tears filling my eyes. I lost him once again. Fine. I deserve it.

At the edge of my vision I see Zeke nodding and then stumbling away. Now I'm really alone but I'm not afraid. I'm Dauntless. And Dauntless believe in ordinary acts of bravery. I stood up for them for the last time and the thought of it gives me some relief.

"Fine. Let's go now" and I stretch out my arms so that one of Bureau soldier can handcuff me.

* * *

 **TOBIAS**

* * *

Listening to Tris saying that she'll give herself in to save me is almost unbearable and the worst is that there is nothing I can do to stop her or to save her. I cannot protect her, in the same way I couldn't protect her ten years ago. I'm so useless. And stupid. Stupid for thinking I could actually live without her, for convicing myself that I didn't want her back. Stupid idiot I am.

My fist meets the door and breaks it apart. Danmit. She's gone, she'll be sent God only knows where and she'll forget once again about me because I didn't have the guts to go and rescue her with the crew. Because I thought I'd be better off without her than with her. Her. The only one that has ever made me feel entire, a whole and not broken. And I just step back claiming I didn't care about her any longer. Tears stream down my face and I cannot breathe properly anymore. The thought of having lost her forever now breaks me apart and everything around me starts spinning. The only thing I can think about is that I cannot lose her again. I cannot. I forbid it. I take a deep breath and put the jacket on. I have to give it a try otherwise it will haunt me until the end of my days. I have to try and have her back, I just can't stay here in the control room and hope that I don't know what happens and she magically makes it back to me. Because it's not going to happen, which means I have to do something. Tris, I' coming. This time for real.

* * *

 **TRIS**

* * *

I just trail behind the guards until we reach the door I escaped from just half an hour ago. Back to jail. Jean is cheerfully talking about how useful I'll be for another experiment in Michigan, babbling about how skilled I am. Great. He doesn't seem to notice my disgust at his words, though, because nothing stops him from speaking to me and about me until we reach another room by the genetics laboratory. I already know what will happen in there but the thought of it doesn't worry me that much. I can only hope that when I wake up after the injection my mind is clear enough to play along. It's like living again what happened ten years ago, the only difference being I won't really forget anything. He shows me a chair and sit on it, stretching my left arm out. He starts shaking his head, though.

"This one will be into your neck. It's a brand new serum, way more powerful than the previous ones and his effect will be stronger if we inject you by the neck"

I feel my heart rate raising, booming in my ears. Stronger? How much stronger? Will Uriah's serum be enough to contrast it? I barely notice Jean shoving my hair away and piercing my neck. The only thing I can do is hope. I close my eyes and think about Tobias.

 _Several hours later_

I wake to a pair of blue eyes.

"Hello, Nicole"

Nicole. That must be me.

"Hello" I say back, my voice hoarse.


	22. A new one in town

**A/N: Hi-ya everyone! Hope you enjoy this one and appreciate the fact that I'm trying to stick to my promise about update rate! I've put in this chapter a quote (not literal, but the meaning is definitely the same) coming from another book. Let's see if someone manages to identify it!  
As always, please REVIEW and FOLLOW!  
XX  
Ae.**

* * *

 **TOBIAS**

* * *

As soon as I exit the control room, my first thought goes to Tris and how mean I was with her. The worst part of this is that Zeke told her I didn't want her anymore, that I was done with us. Shitty lie. I have to make things right, though, and the only way to do this is by rescuing her, freeing her from the hand of the Genetics Bureau. With my jacket on, I get out of the main door and start to walk towards the fences, the sooner the better. I owe her this, I owe us a chance. This is what I hadn't understood before: I owe me something as well. Getting back to her is not just a mere matter of forgiving her, but it's actually a chance, something that could be good for me in the end, something that could make me breathe again and start live my life for real. I'm the one who needs being forgiven by her as well, because making her feel refused by me, not wanted in my life anymore is something that needs and has to be forgiven and I'm more than willing to kneel down at her feet and beg for another chance. And to have it, I have to have her back, too. Pretty easy and difficult at the same time, though. I'm one and they are God knows how many. Who cares, at least I have to give this a try or otherwise I know that the thought of not having tried to rescue her from their hands will haunt until the ends of my day, which means that to me it's better trying and even dying in the attempt than to just sit back and hope that eventually things will get better, which is exactly what I've been doing up to this moment.  
The wind blows through my hair and my body shivers in the cold air of the evening. I put my hands in my jeans pocket: there's no point in having a gun and having problems at using it because your fingers are stiff because of the could, right? I start to jog along the pavement so that I can heat up my whole body and it's then when I see there is a truck coming from the opposite direction. I feel panic slowing making its way into my body and my hands start to shiver uncontrollably: what if that is a compound's car? What if there are people on it ready to kill anyone in this city because we've tried to rescue Tris? The thought that by choosing to save her may have put our beloved city in danger for the first time crosses my mind. Another thing to feel guilty for that I'll soon add to my listing, whose length is increasing as days pass by. As the truck approaches, it also starts to slow down. I firmly grab my gun and hold the truck at gunpoint.  
"Wow, Four. What do you think you're doing?" I breathe and try to calm me down. That's Christina and by the light tone in her voice I bet she's fine. Thanks God.  
"And by the way, what were you thinking? One gun against the Genetics Bureau? That's why we don't let you come up with plans" she chuckles. The worst thing in the world is having a Candor friend who uses irony to tell you the truth because you can't even get mad at them because they joke.  
"Christina, smart-mouth, hello to you too and welcome back to Chicago. Where are the others?"  
"Just five minutes behind us. There is someone here, though, well I think you know who I'm talking about, don't you?"  
I slightly nod and curl my hands into fists. Uriah. Despite seeing him in flesh and bone while he gets out of the truck and he slowly comes towards me, I'm having an hard time believing my eyes. The closer he gets, the less blurred his physical features get and it's the same Uriah I last saw lying down in a bed at the compound. Everything is almost in slow motion and when he finally crashes against my chest, hugging me and slapping my back, I'm taken out of surprise. He keeps on slapping my back while saying things like "I can't believe this" or "Once a Stiff, always a Stiff". Yeah, I guess 10 years at the compound haven't changed him that much. Finally, he takes a step back and stares me in the eyes, piercing though them, like he is trying to read my conscience and get something out of it. I stare back, intensely, and it's then when I realize that in the end 10 years have changed him as well: his eyes look harder, his smile is not as wide as it used to be. But he is Uriah and he's alive, which is all that really matters.  
"Zeke doesn't know" he states, matter-of-factually.  
I simply nod and then say "Yeah. It's your right to tell him the truth, this is your story to tell, not ours"  
He nods as well and then stares at the concrete. When he opens his mouth once again, it's as if is voice belonged to a wise 100-year-old man.  
"You were wrong in thinking you didn't want her anymore. You were wrong in thinking she changed, you know? She is always the same person, the same smart and selfless girl you used to love. What she did ten years ago" I shiver "she did it for you, she acted out of selflessness and generosity because she considered herself as the cause of all your pains. She acted like the girl you used to love. And yet, you argued you didn't want her anymore. I wasn't there when someone snapped the news at her but you broke her, you know that right? You tore her to shreds, you made her think that she was useless if, after all she had done to save you, to give you another chance to have another beginning here in Chicago with someone else-you simply decided you didn't want her anymore" He pauses, his head shaking vigorously. I take a deep breath and let his words sink in, confirming me that I was right in thinking that I had done something she had to forgive me for.  
"And then, like a silly boy, you just change your mind and decide you want her back, now. Do you have any idea of how stupid and risky this would be? We need to figure out a new plan, listen to me."  
I stare into his eyes. And then, truth sinks in me. He's right but this doesn't mean she's lost to me forever. "Better be soon, then" I say "we don't want her to be sent God knows where, do we?" and I slap his back.  
"Of course, pansycake! But trust me, we'll never lose track of her. I worked as technician there, remember? We can always have an eye on her and she'll be back so soon you barely notice her missing." And then we shake hands.

* * *

 **TRIS**

* * *

Who the hell is Nicole? My name is Tris! I'm about to say it out loud when the memories of the last 10 hours hit me and I wisely decide to shut my mouth quiet. Play along, Tris, and once they'll send you far away, just leave them behind you. That's my plan for now and that's what I want to stick to. I slowly turn my head to the left so that now I can clearly see who I'm talking with. And it's no surprise to see Jean's face. Cool.  
"So, Nicole. We know this must be tough for you, but there are a few things you need to be updated on" I'm already updated on them, you idiot. I simply smile to him. And then he starts babbling about the key role the Genetics Bureau plays in the world and about GDs and GPs and blah blah for what feels like an eternity. I try to never zone out of his speech and look as enthusiastic as possible when he depicts us as the perfect creatures for being GPs. Bullshit, but still I have to play along. Once he is done, he asks me if I have any question for him and I shake my head.  
"I'd love some privacy and time by myself to process everything you've just told me, if that's fine for you". At this, Jean simply turns around and exits my room. I wait for almost ten minutes and when I'm positive there is nobody in the corridor, I silently open the door and sneak out of my room. I try to be as quite as possible while I head at Michael's room. I have to ask him a few questions. I gently knock at his door and then I hear his voice telling me to come him. I try to be as quick as possible and sneak into his room, taking special care in closing the door.  
He simply looks at me and by the look in his eyes I'm sure that the problem is that he doesn't know whether his anti-memory serum worked or not.  
"Michael, it's fine. I know I'm Tris. No worries" and I hear the sound of him letting out a breath I bet he wasn't aware to be holding.  
"Tris. Glad to see you know who you are" he says, smiling at me.  
"Michael, has Uriah made it back to Chicago?" Seeing him nodding makes me feel like a burden has been lifted by my shoulders. He has made it and as far as I'm concerned, this means that the mission was more than successful, almost perfect.  
"I need you to do me a favor, though. You need me to set me on a mission. The sooner the better. And it needs to be far away, the farthest you can find from this compound. I'm leaving".  
Ten minutes later, I'm back in my room, thinking about what to do. I have to get ready for my future and my first thought goes to Tobias. I don't know if he'll ever forgive me but I do need to ask for his forgiveness. I sit on my bed and start writing him a letter I'll later hide under my bed. In case he'll ever find it.  
"Dear Tobias.." and I simply let my soul speak to the pen.


	23. Confessions

**A/N: Hello guys! This is - I think- the longest chapter so far! Hope you enjoy! Please follow or REVIEW! I can't wait to hear from you!  
XX  
Ae.**

* * *

 **/Two weeks later/**

* * *

 **TRIS**

* * *

Playing along and pretending to believe all the bullshit Jean told me about the GPs and GDs things has become increasingly tough. Jean is planning on bringing the Chicago experiment down and for all. In this respect he is way worse than David, I guess. The problem is there is nothing I can trade with him now so that my crew and anyone in Chicago survive the attack unarmed. The only thing I can do is let them know what's awaiting them, but apart from that I feel extremely helpless. I've been racking my brain about what to do for the last two weeks and finally decided that I'd better go and have a talk with Michael in order to find a way out of this for both me and my friends. And Tobias, of course.

I gently knock at his room's door and wait for his voice to tell to come in. I grab the door handle and get into his room. He's peacefully laid down on his bed and he's staring at the ceiling, almost zoning out from his surroundings. I cough to bring him back to his senses.

"Michael. We have to do something" There's no need to specify what I'm talking about because I'm pretty sure he's aware of Jean's plan for Chicago.

"I know, Tris. The problem is that nothing useful comes to my mind that doesn't involve any of us risk their life. Do not even dare to look at me like that because there's no way I'm going to send you there and update them on what's going on here at the Bureau".  
The spark of excitement I had in my eyes at hearing there was something I could do about the present situation goes away as quickly as it had made its way to my eyes. I sigh in desperation, lifting my chin so that I can look at him.  
"Michael. You know I don't care" I can't even manage to finish my sentence that he has already jumped in.

"I do care, Tris. I do care. That' why I teamed up with Uriah: I wanted you to know the truth because I felt as if you deserved it and since I could give it to you, I never for a second had second thoughts. I do care and this is the first reason why we'll come up with another plan that doesn't involve you being sent to death into Chicago, in the remote case you'd manage to leave the compound without Jean noticing". His eyes are hard and his smile is a flat line. He's not joking. I open my eyes wide in disbelief and try to say something but it seems my voice doesn't work anymore.

"Shut up. Don't you even dare ask me why I care about you because that's crystal clear. You are the most selfless person I've ever met in my entire life, the bravest and the nicest as well. When I first found out what you did ten years ago I couldn't believe my eyes. Literally. I had to take another look at the document I was handling in my hands before letting the truth sink in. That's when I felt the urge of freeing you from this jail rise in me. Not that you made things easy for me" He chuckles "but I guess that having no memory about your real life before the Bureau and the only thing you clearly remembered being your parents' death explained why you didn't want to, well you know, be nice with anyone here. Those walls of yours were there for a reason and the worst thing about it was that despite how hard I tried to get to you, you kept on pushing me back. You really made this extremely hard for me, you know?"  
I feel the familiar feeling of blush making its way to my cheeks and I stare at the floor, unable to look at him in the eyes. He wanted to tell me the truth and I didn't let him come close to me. This explains also why I thought he was somehow obsessed with me.  
"After almost 8 years you finally decided- I guess- that I was worth some kindness but not for a second you let those walls of yours fall down for me. You were nice and kind, you sometimes talked to me but you were always so out of reach for me" He shakes his head "That's when I came up with the idea of teaming up with you on your rescue mission, that way I'd get to spend some more time with you and maybe, eventually, you'd let me in. It was hard because I'd always been almost a clerk here at the compound so I had to train and get fit, but I managed".

Now it's my time to shake my head. I clearly remember feeling extremely upset when I first found out that he'd be my next partner and I simply cannot believe that he's done all of this - risking his own life included because I'm pretty sure he'll end up dead if Jean ever finds out he's been working with Uriah and had me have my memory back- and still I barely said hello to him. Once a Stiff, always a Stiff. Why do I have always to make things hard for those who care about me?

"The thing is that at the very beginning I just wanted to help you have your real life back. I really didn't plan on falling this hard for you"  
Wait, what? Is he serious? The hottest guy of the whole Bureau is in love with me? Why? How could he possibly fall in love for me given that I barely spoke to him? This cannot be real.

"Yeah, I know what you're thinking but the thing is that you have this, well I don't even know how to define it, thing that draws the other to you and I fall in your trap, not that you set it on purpose of course. It's the way you treated the kids from the Fringe that made me see that caring side of yours and I desperately started to desire that you showed it to me, as well. You must have thought I was like stalking you, I bet" he shakes his head while chuckling "and that must have convinced you even more than needed to push me back. The problem is that I couldn't help being attracted to you somehow and despite how hard I try to be impartial and detached when it came to you, the only thing I could think about when I had you around was having you in my arms. That was really excruciating. I even thought for a second about not delivering the truth to you but I then realized that I wanted you to choose me being you. Being Tris and not Melanie. And then when we had sex, I thought that maybe I could still have a chance. For me, that was not mere sex but I couldn't expect it to be something more for you, of course and by the look in your eyes the following morning I bet it wasn't".

Silence hangs in the air while I try to process what I've just heard. He loves me and I love Tobias. I cannot really blame him for having thought about not letting me know the truth because he did know how I felt about Tobias and that makes me appreciate him even more. I keep on staring at the floor until his voice breaks the silence.  
"That's why I'd rather come up with another plan that doesn't put your life at risk. I know that you love" he pauses and then snaps the next word to me "Tobias and I don't even have a chance with you, but still I want to protect you, okay?" He looks at me in the eyes and I clearly see the pain he's in right now. I don't trust my voice in this moment so I simply nod and turn around to leave him by himself. Then something comes to my mind.

"Michael, if they managed to enter in our security system, then we can get into theirs as well, can we?"

* * *

 **TOBIAS**

* * *

These two weeks have been extremely painful to me. Staying here without doing anything to save her. To have her back. I trust Uriah, though, and if he says we need to have a plan before hitting the compound, then I'll wait. At least he has allowed me to stay in the control room and to spy, let's say, on Tris. I felt so relieved when I understood she remembers anything, me, her name, her life as a Dauntless member, Christina because that meant I still had a chance to have her back as she used to be. My Tris. I've been following her around the compound and by what I can see, she seems to be fine, despite the frequent meetings she's had with Jean. Of course I couldn't always have an eye on her but I do hope I haven't missed something important while sleeping. Hopefully if she remembers me, she'll try to come back to Chicago, won't she?  
The sound of the control room slamming against the wall makes me jump in my chair.

"Four"

"Zeke"

Things have been a little awkward with him lately considering that I think he hasn't forgiven me for not having told him about Uriah being alive. But he's right, I would do exactly the same if I were in his shoes.

While I look at him, the memory of his meeting with his little brother comes to my mind. That was definitely one of the most painful and emotional moments I've ever lived in my entire, which means a lot I guess. It was like seeing two satellites crashing against each other, at the beginning attracted to each other and then pushing each other away. Terrible still you couldn't take your eyes off it, as if it were a car accident. There were tears in both their eyes and pain was clearly visible in their facial features. It's then when I decided this was none of my business and I simply walked away with all the others leaving the two brothers facing their unresolved issues. We hadn't reached the corner of the road yet, Christina limping at my side, they had already started screaming to each other. Despite how much effort I put into not listening to them, they were so loud they were almost impossible to ignore. Still, I felt as if I was intruding their private space. Since that night, I'd not heard anything from Zeke, till now, and judging by his puffy eyes, he must have been in a pretty bad humor.

"Go along" I say "I'm listening". These are the magic words which open the gate of Zeke's inner thoughts and I find myself carefully listening to him for almost one hour. I can't blame him though, at least he is trying to work things out and have his little brother back, without trying to push him away or to hurt him. Much of what he says basically echoes what I'd been thinking till I heard Jean threatening Tris: how could he have done this to us? To him? With Uriah things are easier, on the other hand: he was forced to stay by threatening his family's life and he reacted responding to the threat. I guess what puzzles Zeke is the fact that he never tried to get in touch with him for the last 10 years and at the same time he understands why Uriah did so. And he accepts also the fact that he never tried to run away because he wanted to stay by Tris's side waiting for her to recover her memory. I feel Zeke's pain and I do understand the troubles he's having at forgiving Uriah, since I was in his shoes not long ago.

"How did you do it?" He asks. I don't even have to think about what he means by this question. "One thing: I want her back more than I want to punish her for what she's done. That's the point, Zeke, but I cannot decide for you or try and pretend to know exactly what you feel, because I obviously cannot. But that's the thing: what do you want more? Him back? Or not?".

He stares at me processing my words and then, without saying a thing, he leaves the room. I let him go, though, because I know he needs his time exactly like I needed some time by myself when I first found out about Tris. I turn to the screen and get back to my usual job: spying on her. It's then when I hear a man confessing his feelings to Tris. WHO ARE YOU? HOW DO YOU DARE?


	24. Finally

**A/N: Hello everyone! First of all, I'd like to explain why there was a change in the title of my fic: apparently there is another fic named "I am coming back for you" and since I was basically accused of having plagiarized that title to make it mine I was forced to change it. That's it. The change doesn't mean there will be a change in the plot or whatsoever.  
THERE IS A _POLL_ NOW OPEN ON MY PROFILE! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE IT'S VITAL TO ME!  
As always, please REVIEW and FOLLOW! I want to hear more from you!  
Here we go. It was a very hard chapter to write, that's why it took me so long (not double checked, though). I know you'll love it! The moment has cooome!:)  
XX  
Ae.**

* * *

 **TRIS**

* * *

Michael made it. I don't know exactly how he did it but he is 100% positive that Uriah had got our message. He said something about using a special code language that only Uriah and he know and that is basically invisible in the stream of technological output from the compound. I don't even know if this makes sense, but as far as it works, it's just fine for me. The message was very basic, something like "Jean is about to bring down the compound", and I bet it was more than enough to put them on edge which was exactly what we wanted to achieve.  
As I walk by Michael's room, the door gets wide open and I feel a hand grabbing my forearm. In a matter of seconds I'm into his room and he is staring at me very intensely.  
"Tris, you cannot go on that mission" Excuse me? That's what we have scheduled together, how things were supposed to go. We thought it through! What is this? I don't even open my mouth and he's already shaking his head.  
"I know. I know what that brain of yours is thinking. But the thing is that Uriah sent us a message". Well, know that's interesting. A message.  
"Saying what?"  
"They asked for our help. They want us to join them while bringing Jean down".

Jean. That hell of a man. That bastard. The thought of him bleeding on the ground and me smiling on the top of him is just too good to be true. Jean done once and forever. And moreover, I think it's a damn brilliant idea: Jean's policy on the GDs is not that popular among the employees at the compound and I bet that killing him means freeing anyone. Damn smart.  
"Smart" I say while pacing in circles. I can already see how things will go.  
"Tris. We need to think it through, though. As you surely know, Jean's not that popular anymore but this doesn't mean there is nobody supporting him. I think you can see it, right?"  
I nod. "Michael, we outnumber them! C'mon!"  
"Still, we need to think it through. I'll be in touch with Uriah and come up with a common plan, okay? I'll keep you updated on this, I promise"

Fine. "You better do"

* * *

 **/ ONE WEEK LATER/**

 **TOBIAS**

* * *

That's the night I'm going to have Tris back. And kill that Jean who has been keeping her captivated for the last ten years. I can't wait to see him and show him how nice my fist can be against his jaw. Lovely image, isn't it? I'm so ready for this, even though I'm still not sure how things will go when I see Tris. Tobias, focus. I run my hand in my hair and take a deep breath. In. Out. Easy. Calm your heart rate and face your future!  
I slowly turn around and see everyone just sitting in the truck. Their expressions are so intense, it must be because they are aware of the importance of this mission, I guess. Uriah and Zeke are still sitting apart, they try so hard not to look at each other it could be almost funny. If they weren't brothers and one of them had just discovered the other was alive when he thought he was dead. I sigh and go back to staring outside the window while playing with the hem of my shirt. This is the moment I've been waiting for for the last ten years. Easy on this.  
All of a sudden, the truck comes to a full stop and I immediately grab the gun. The plan seems pretty easy to me, which makes me worry even more: it's easy for us because it's going to be difficult for Tris and Michael. The guy who loves her. I try to push aside any bad thought about him because it's to him, as well to Uriah, that I owe the fact that Tris is still alive. Breathe, Tobias. I take a deep breathe and then turn around: they are all waiting for me to make the first move. I simply nod and open the car door.  
We silently approach the compound, and we reach the door Uriah and Tris had run out from. We duck at its side and listen carefully. According to the plan, Tris is supposed to get Jean out of his room, or wherever he is, asking him to go for a walk with her. The excuse she came up with was that she wanted to ask her something about the GDs and we were all sure he would be more than willing to fill him on his insane genetics politics. The only hope we had is that since Jean believed she didn't remember anything apart from what he wanted her to remember, he'd fall in our trap. Michael, on the other hand, was in charge of taking care of Jean's small support group: a great total of 13 men. He had found at least 20 men ready to help him in the plan and once the world has spread in the compound the number had increased to reach the stable amount of 50. 50 against 13: it seemed easy. Basically, we were there just for backup, in the remote case something go wrong.  
I check my watch: it's 10 pm and exactly as expected I hear her voice through the door. Despite the effort I'm putting into trying to stay focused on our task, that sound makes any memory of our life together come to my mind. This time, though, they are not bittersweet anymore: they are hopeful, nice, happy. Full of love and expectation for what's waiting ahead of us in our life together. Zeke elbows me in my ribs while chuckling. I simply roll my eyes and get back to listening. Her voice is getting closer and closer. Then I hear gunshots.  
They do not seem close, though, which means they're not anywhere around Tris. I cannot wait any longer though and twisting the doorknob, I open the door. And she's there, Jean is on his knees and she's holding him at gunpoint. Her eyes are 100% focused on him and him only, though. She doesn't even for a second glance at me. All of a sudden her voice fills the air.  
"You" she snaps out "You tried to erase my memory. Even when that wasn't in the contract I signed. You broke your promise and now I break mine. You had no right to take everything away from me for a second time. No right at all. You have no right to kill innocent people, those you call GDs, either. No right at all" Her voice cracks and I clearly see she's trying to pull it together. "You have no right to decide for anyone in Chicago. And that's what you deserve" and then she pulls the trigger. As in slow motion, Jean's body slowly falls to the ground and his blood is everywhere. A deep and bloodcurdling cry then breaks the silence. It's Tris.

* * *

 **TRIS**

* * *

I can feel the panic making its way through me and I feel any control I had on my body. All of a sudden, I hear someone crying in pain and that cry doesn't stop. Next thing I know, strong arms are hugging me tightly, whispering soothing words in my ear. "It's over. It's over. I'm here".

Tobias.


	25. Lips

**A/N: Hiiii guys! HAPPY AND MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU!  
As you might have guessed, the end of this fic of mine is very very close. I opened a pool asking you what should be next. So please HEAD TO MY PROFILE AND VOTE!  
As always, enjoy and REVIEW!  
XX  
Ae.**

* * *

 **TRIS**

* * *

As soon as his arms shield me from the rest of the world, I completely feel at home. He's holding me so tightly that I barely manage to breathe but at the same time I don't want to pull back because I'm enjoying the feeling. All the pieces of my puzzle have finally come together and everything finally makes sense. I try to live the moment as much as I can because I know I'll have to leave him soon enough. He doesn't want me and there is no point in forcing him to be in a relationship with me when Zeke made me painfully aware of his wishes: he doesn't want me, not now nor ever. For the moment being, I try to hold to him as close as I can.  
"Tris"  
Oh, his voice. So deep and warm. It makes me shiver and grab him tighter.  
"Tris"  
I lift my chin so that I can look at him in the eyes  
"Tris, you're hurting me. Let go of me".  
Yeah. Right. I forgot he doesn't want to be anywhere close to me. I shut my eyes close to focus on my senses and enjoy what I'm feeling right now so that I can recall this memory in the near future, when I am alone God knows where. On the brink of tears, I try to stand up. As soon as his body leaves mine, I feel a creepy sensation of cold making its way to my stomach and the world freezes. The pain I feel in my chest is almost unbearable and still I know I have to pull myself together at least until when he gets back to Chicago. C'mon, Tris. Just shut your mouth close and let the others do all the talking. You can do this.  
All of a sudden, I see a black figure sprinting towards us from the end of the corridor. His steps are heavy on the ground and he's holding a gun. I immediately feel anyone around me stiffening and grabbing their own guns. It's a man and his figure comes into focus: Michael.

"Tris" he whispers in my ear while hugging me "Oh my God! I was so worried, I heard some gunshots coming from where you were supposed to be and I didn't know whether you were injured or not" He squeezes my left hand and keeps on hugging me. His warm voice talking directly into my ear, through all the layers of hair.  
I stay still, though, and gently wait for him to let go of me. I slightly pat him in the back, trying to calm him and making him realize I'm all good and fine. I know, even though I cannot see him directly, that Tobias must not be enjoying what Michael is doing because the air immediately gets tense, almost electrical. Someone coughs and I'm finally free.  
"Michael" Uriah says "would you mind updating all of us on what happened?"  
He simply nods and starts talking: by the end of his speech, we're all aware that the Bureau is not longer working. Michael actually completely fulfilled his mission and once he took control of those guards faithful to Jean, there was much more to do. I feel like a burden has been lifted from my chest and the future seems brighter that it's ever been to me.

* * *

 **TOBIAS**

* * *

I clench my jaws while trying to endure the pain Tris is putting me through. Her hand is squeezing my forearm so tightly that I know there will be bruises there. I feel a certain dizziness there and it's then when I'm aware that my blood isn't circulating anymore in my forearm.  
"Tris" I try to draw her attention to me but she seems pretty oblivious of her surrounding. I give another try and say her name out loud once again. "Tris". She suddenly shuts her eyes close and takes a short series of deep breaths in. Then, she tries to stand up but she's so shaken, I presume, by what happened in the Bureau that she needs my help to actually be able to stand up on her own feet. She looks at me in the eyes while I see hers getting full of tears; it's a sight I cannot really stand, I've never really been that good at coping with her being in pain, so I slowly raise my arm to touch her cheek. All of a sudden, she turns around and stares intensely at something (or someone) coming from the end of the corridor. I immediately grab my gun and get ready to fire when the boy sprints towards us and hugs Tris.  
The edges of my vision go red and I feel my hands start to shake. The man starts speaking soothing words in her ears and grabs her tighter. She doesn't move, though, and for a moment I feel some sense of relief. Then, almost as if I were in a nightmare, I see her hand gently patting him in the back. Her. Hand. On. His. Back. I greet my teeth and try to stay calm until the sound of someone coughing breaks the silence. The man finally (and luckily for him, I may add) lets go of Tris and looks at Uriah who asks him about what happened. The man, Michael as I got to know thanks to Uriah's question, starts answering and despite how unwilling I am to admit it, he has done a great job. The Bureau is down. Many thoughts cross my mind but the first and most important one is that I can finally have Tris back without fearing that the compound might try to have her back. I got her back and now it's forever.  
Tris's face is still not on display for me, because she is staring at Michael, which means the only part of her body I see clearly is her back. When she finally turns around, the sadness in her eyes makes me want to hold he tightly and never let go, but I cannot because I know that this would lead her crazy. She's never been that type of person.  
"C'mon Four, are you even listening to me?" Zeke's voice breaks through my wall of numbness and I guess this is not the first time he has tried to catch my attention. I simply nod at him and he carries on  
"I've asked you what's next".  
What's next. Right. The only obvious answer that comes to my mind is that next is me and Tris together but I know he's not asking me about that.  
"Back to Chicago. Now. Let's go. Who wants to come with us is more than welcomed to follow us. I'm not going to ask to anyone of you, so just make up your mind and act like it."  
Most of the people that by now have gathered around us start to make their way to the door, willing to come with us. The person I care about the most, thought, doesn't move. I wait for a couple of minutes, thinking she needs some time to decide but what she does next breaks my heart.  
She simply turns and heads back to the compound.

She.

Is.

Not.

Coming.

* * *

 **TRIS**

* * *

I wait while I see the others leaving and getting back to Chicago. I patiently wait for Tobias to leave as well because I want to have a last look at him before packing my things and leaving the Bureau behind. He doesn't move, though, and neither he's looking at him. After a couple of minutes, I cannot deal with him being so close to me and not touching him any longer so I simply turn and start to walk towards my room. I'm painfully trying to hold my tears back but I cannot help the sob that escapes my lips. As I walk, the feet get heavier and heavier, the surroundings become more and more blurred. And he's not following me. As I turn the corner, I feel tears streaming down my face, finally breaking the wall of my eyes. I start to sob and the sound of my pain fills the air. I slowly kneel down and hug myself, hiding my head between my legs. The pain is so strong it's almost unbearable and the only way I can make it through it's by myself.

As I keep on sobbing, I suddenly feel an hand landing on my head and gently brushing it. Then there are some lips kissing the top of my head. I don't dare to lift my chin up and look at whoever is doing this to me because I'm not ready to see that it's not Tobias. The hand is now slowly moving south, caressing my cheeks and then landing on my lips. The fingers gently start to brush on them and it's then when I know I cannot keep on shutting the world out. I slowly lift my chin and I keep my eyes close, holding to the hope I have that the person who is cuddling me is Tobias.  
On the count of three.  
One.  
Two.  
Three.

And then Tobias's lips crash against mine.

 **A/N: REMEMBER TO VOOOOOOTE! XX**


	26. Way home

**A/N: Guys, we have a square result in the pool, I need one extra voooote PLEASE!  
As always, ENJOY and REVIEW!  
XX  
Ae.**

* * *

 **TRIS**

* * *

The feeling of his lips against mine is overwhelming. I try to enjoy the moment as much as I can because I'm aware there won't be any kiss after this one. I cup his face with my hands, his bear gently caressing my fingers, tons of thoughts going through my mind. Through this kiss, I try to convey as many feelings as I can and I hope that my lips will do all the talking and that my mind will permanently fix in my memory any single second of it so that I can go back to it any time I'll feel the longing of him is too much to bear. While I try to deepen the kiss, he starts pulling back but I cannot let go of him for now so I grab his face with more strength. I lose myself in this kiss until I painfully realize I need to breathe.

"Tris" That's the first word which gets out of his mouth as soon as our lips are not in contact anymore. I stare with all my strength at my feet, not ready to look at him in the eyes. Not ready for him to look me in the eye and tell me the truth, that he doesn't want and this was nothing more than a goodbye kiss for him. His hand gently touches my chin while lifting my whole face. He cannot force me to look at him if I don't want to so I keep my eyes shut and replay in my memory these few minutes of blissful happiness with him.  
"Tris" I just shut his voice out and act as if I were the only one in this corridor and he were not here with me cupping my face with his hands.  
"Tris. Please. Look at me" His voice cracks on the last word, full of pain and regret I guess. I cannot stand him being in pain exactly like he cannot stand me being in pain so I take a deep breathe and slowly open my eyes to find his staring back at me. I'm already on the verge of tears of the sight of his blue eyes is what triggers me: I start sobbing and I see I have the same effect on him he has on me. I see tears streaming down his face as well and his shoulders shrug a little. Then, out of the blue, he starts leaning towards me once again until his forehead is against mine. Like we used to do to show each other our love. This is too much for him to handle, I cannot be so close to him and know that it's nothing but a temporary thing, that tomorrow I'll leave this compound and he'll be back to Chicago. Too much. I turn my face and I immediately feel the cold replacing the spot where our foreheads touched. Cold and emptiness is what awaits me for the future.  
While I try to process all these things, his hand gently touches my cheek while forcing me to look back at him. I try to resist him as long as I can but there isn't much I can do against the strength and determination of such a powerful man. When I look at him in the eyes once again, I see everything in them. Love. Pain. Loneliness. Mourning. In his sigh, I can easily read the pain and strength it takes for him to keep on loving someone like me. Someone that keeps on pushing him away, leaving him behind, that keeps on refusing him even when he's on the floor with me. His gaze gets more and more intense and I fell like in a trap I cannot escape from. He stares in my eyes trying to read something in them and just when I'm about to stand up, he speaks.  
"You are forgiven". I open my eyes wide in disbelief, a burden getting off my chest. I've always known he was a head and shoulders above any other man on this planet but still the fact that I'm forgiven comes totally out of the blue to him. I gently push him back so that now I can take his entire face in and I rub my fingers against his left cheek while trying to see sense of what he's just said. He tilts his head against my hand, shutting his eyes close and I feel my heart bursting in love. I cannot believe what he's just said, it just doesn't make sense: I was ready to beg for his forgiveness, to kneel down and here I am staring at him after being told I've nothing to be forgiven for.  
"Tobias" He keeps his eyes closed. "Tobias, please, talk to me!" The urge in my voice must wake him up from his daydream and he opens his eyes, love now filling them.  
"Yes?"  
"How?"  
He looks at me in the eyes and I can clearly see him pondering what to tell me next.  
"I love you, Tris. That's the whole point of the situation. Even if I may not agree with you about what you did ten years ago, I know you. I love you too much to just let go of you because you tried to save me from what you thought it would be a life of pain because you were in it. Crazy thought, actually, and it took me a while to understand your reason" He sighs, pausing for a while. "The thing is also that you actually didn't break the promise you made me about not risking your life just because. You didn't die and you acted out of selflessness. You did what you thought was right and I cannot blame you for that. I can blame you, though, for thinking I was better off without you" His eyes shift away and he ends up staring at the wall, carefully avoiding my glaze.  
"How could you? I mean, I loved you. You were the one who kept me going and you knew it. How could you?" Yeah. I don't know how I could do something like this to him knowing I'd leave him tore to shreds. I shake my head, salt on my lips.  
"I don't know. I did believe it was the best for you. I realized your life had become a mess since you met me. You have to believe me that I did it because I thought it would be the best for you, right? I did believe what I said to David in those days. It's just.." Sobs prevent me from speaking and I start just babbling random things without making any actual sense. I feel the panic getting over me until Tobias's arms wrap me firmly.  
"Tris. I promise I'll try to understand your reason but I think you'll agree this is not the proper time to make things straight. So. Come home with me. Please. I promise we'll talk everything through".

I look me in the eyes and simply nod. I'm going home.

* * *

 **A/N: So. How do you think they'll finally manage to make up? I promise we'll go back to Uriah and Zeke as well:)**


End file.
